Always: A Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 68

Katniss

I feel as though I have failed Finnick. Finn will die. I know he will, no matter what tiny bit of hope they give us. Because that's how the world works. It gives us hope and then takes everything away. I stare ahead at the wall in front of me. Peeta is sitting beside me. I rest my head on his shoulder. Neither of us say a word.

And Ruth. I know Annie and Ruth were friends beforehand. They were roommates. How will Annie take her son and a close friend dying. I close my eyes to try and block everything out, but of course, it doesn't work. "Katniss. After the Games we're going home," Peeta says. I look up into his blue eyes.

"What?" I ask. Going home? Does he mean 12?

"Going back to the Victor's Village. We're going back," he says. He kisses the top of my head. "Soon." I nod and close my eyes again.

Katniss. I hear the hissing noise and I know all too well what is making it. I plunge into a dark hole of fear as I think about the monsters that tore apart Finnick. Katniss. They're getting closer. They'll kill me, just like they did so many others. Katniss. So close now. I try to move but it's as though I have invisible handcuffs tied to my limbs. I scream for help but nothing stirs in the black, darkness. Katniss. I see something move in front of me. A flick of a tail? A long, dark tongue?

"No! Katniss!" I whip around to see Peeta running towards me. My eyes grow wide, but I can't stop him. He comes to me and somehow cuts restraints I can't see. "Run!"

"No! Peeta, I'm not leaving you!" I yell over the loud hissing and crashing around us. He kisses me and turns towards the reptiles. Gale comes out of no where and pulls me towards a ladder. I scream and flail my arms, trying to get to Peeta. But it's too late. I see a slimy reptile mutt tackle him and sink it's teeth into his chest. I scream on the top of my lungs and somehow break away from Gale. I kneel down beside a now lifeless and still Peeta. I sob into my sleeve, bracing myself for what's to come next. The mutts are still here, circling their dead victim and I, preparing for the next attack. I slip my fingers through Peeta's cold ones and feel a blinding pain in my back before everything goes dark.

"Peeta!" I sit up, screaming. I am suddenly surrounded by many unfamiliar faces. Gale has taken Peeta's place in the chair beside me. I can't breath. I can't think. I can't see straight.

"Katniss," I hear Peeta's voice. I bring my legs up to my chest and rest my face down on my knees. I try to hold in the panic, the sobs. I can't cry in front of everyone. I know Peeta has reached me now. I feel his strong but welcoming arms around me. I hear soft whispers that I can't quite make out. "Katniss, I'm here. It's okay now. It's all okay."

I bring my head up and my eyes meet his. His blue eyes, filled with concern and worry for me. I know he cares about me more than anything. And I feel the same way for him. He's the last one that I really, truly love. I wrap my arms around his neck and take a deep breath in. He smells like dough, although we haven't even been near a real kitchen for so long. "I'm sorry," I whisper.

"For what?" he mumbles, still holding me.

"For everything. I should have just died. None of this would have happened. And I'm sorry that I scare you to death all the time and-"

"Katniss," his voice is firm. He looks me straight in the eyes. The crowd around us has disappeared entirely, suddenly uninterested. "If you were dead, I would have nothing."

"You'd have your family!" I say.

"My love for you is so much greater than whatever it was that I felt for them," he says. I press my forehead to his and close my eyes, trying to calm my breathing.

"I want to go home," I whimper in a voice that resembles a young child's. An unwanted tear falls from my eye. Peeta wipes it away with his thumb.

"We will. I promise. It's almost over." I know that is not true. It's not almost over. It would be almost over if I were to die tomorrow. But there's a likely chance that that will not happen. But it could. I am never safe. And this, whatever it is; torture, maybe. It won't be over until I die. And a part of me wants to be finished. To escape from this cruel world that I live in. But I know I can't. I have to stay here for Peeta. I don't even know what would happen if I died. I do, actually. The same thing I would do. He would shut everything and everyone out. He wouldn't eat or speak at all. He would either starve to death or kill himself. And I can't put him through that.

My eyelids begin to get heavy again, even though I was just asleep. "Are you tired?" Peeta asks and I nod in return. I wrap my arms around his neck and he picks me up into his strong arms. I rest my head on his shoulder and fall asleep as Peeta carries me to my room.

***

When I awake, I am happy to find that I didn't have another nightmare. Peeta is lying asleep beside me. I stare at the ceiling for a while, never wanting to leave here. But I know I really do want to leave. I want to get as far away from here as possible and never, ever come back.