Always: A Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 102

Katniss
I lock the door to my bedroom, making sure to slam it extra loud. I storm over to the windowsill beside the bed and open it a crack. The cool air helps me breath a little bit better, but it doesn't calm any of the anger that has built up inside of me.

I sit alone, watching the night sky for about an hour before I hear a knock on the door. Their stupid meeting must be finished. I ignore the soft pounding and shut my eyes.

"Katniss, it's Peeta."

"Go away," I mumble.

"Please open the door. I'm worried about you," he says. The corners of my mouth turn down to form a frown. I squeeze my eyes tight to keep any tears from falling.

The next words I speak are hard for me to get out, "I don't want to see you."

There's a whimper from the other side of the door, but Peeta doesn't leave. "But I need to see you," he says so quietly, it's almost impossible to hear. "I need you."

I wipe the stray tear from my cheek and focus my eyes on a certain rose bush outside of my house. It seems to help me keep from completely losing it, ending up with me drowning in my own tears.

"Katniss, please open the door. Everyone else is gone."

"So you finished your little discussion?" I retort.

"We're trying to help you. Just let me explain," he says.

"I don't need an explanation. I'm not stupid, Peeta." I make sure to say his name with a tone of sheer bitterness.

I regret it, though, when I hear the unmistakable sound of Peeta crying. I whisper a faint I'm sorry and cover my face in my hands.

I eye the locked medicine cabinet in the corner. I know it contains a small bottle with two night lock pills; one for me, and one for Peeta. Plutarch made some sort of deal with a Capitol after the death of Fiona Snow that every victor and their family was to take a bottle exactly like ours.

The pill is supposed to be just in case of an attack, but there have been several times where I wanted to take it. Now is one of them.

I manage to crawl over to the cabinet. I have no idea if there's a key for it. If there is, I have no idea where. I pull on the handles, but it doesn't budge. "Katniss, let me in." The sadness in Peeta's voice has been replaced with urgency and fear.

I press my hand to the door and hold back a sob. I say another silent apology and back away from the only thing separating us. I take a heavy piece of wood that leans against the closet and raise it up to my head. I bring the plank down to the surface of the cabinet and it shatters. "Katniss!" Peeta yells. I can hear him throwing his body against the door.

I feel no emotion. I'm empty. I'm floating in a purplish dreamland that only exists to my insane mind.

I reach through the gaping hole in the wood and pull out the unopened bottle. The word NIGHTLOCK is spelled out in blue block letters.

I pop the cap open with my thumb and examine the two ovals at the bottom. "Katniss, please open the door. Don't do this. I'm begging you. . .Please," he's whimpering now. He's scared, and we both know it. But still, I have no feeling. Nothing but a small tingling in my palms. 

I examine the pill in my hands, finally making the connection of what I was about to do. "Katniss!" Peeta is screaming now. I've never heard him like this before. I can make out the mumbled curses from behind the door, but I try my best to ignore them. It'd be easier if he wasn't here. If I was alone, I know I would swallow this tiny weapon within seconds. But he's making me hesitant. His goal, probably. 

The memories of him cascade through my mind like a slideshow. But this time it's different. I see the good memories, none of the bad. I can see his smile, hear his laugh. I remember his face when Finnick and I scared him one morning on the beach in the Quell. I picture myself laughing so hard I could barely breath. I haven't felt the lightness of a smile in so long. 

My train of thought ends when Peeta comes crashing through the door. He's dazed for a moment while he tries to regain himself from the fall. 

It's as if a wave of strength hits me, and I drop the pill. The tears pour down my cheeks uncontrollably. Realization hits me like lightning. I drop to my knees and sob, wrapping my arms around my cold body. "Katniss. . ." Peeta whispers. His mouth is turned down into a frown. He's on the verge of crying. I suck in what feels like a gallon of air, and I finally feel like I can breath. He crawls on his knees towards me and pulls me into a tight hug. 

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. . ." I cry. I begin a fit of hysterical laughter, with tears still rolling down my face. Soon, we're both bawling and I know he's ten times as terrified as I am. I can't even imagine what I just put him through. 

"Katniss, I love you so much," he says, his face buried in my neck. I begin to speak, but he stops me. "I will never stop loving you. I know sometimes we can't stand each other. We do things that the other doesn't agree with. But it's nothing compared to the amount of love I feel towards you. You're my wife. You're my best friend. You're my ally. You're my everything, Katniss. And I have nothing without you. You have to know that. If you die, you kill me too. I'm bound to you."

I don't know how to form words after that. I don't know what to say; I don't know what to think. If you die, you kill me too. I can feel more of Peeta's wet tears on my shoulder. He hardly ever cries. That's how I know I've made a huge mistake. And I'll always regret the past day. 

"I love you too. And I know that can't beat what you just said. I'm not good at forming words like you," I whisper. He's moved so now our noses are inches apart. "But everything you said goes for you too." 

"It beats it. By one million. I just. . .need to hear you say it. I was starting to think that you didn't-"

"You never have to think that," I say. We press our forheads together, and I feel a burst of happiness when Peeta smiles. 

I feel like I'm back on the beach in the Games. The bedroom walls turn into jungle; the bed, the ocean. I do. I need you. I was right about needing him then, and I'm still right now. 

For the first time in what feels like centuries, Peeta's lips are against mine. I run my fingers through his blond hair, and he does the same with mine. We both laugh when his fingers get caught in a knot in my dark mess. 

Once again, when our lips meet, I feel like Katniss. I feel like myself; the way I felt before the games, and before the rebellion. I felt almost sane, tangled up with his body. I love him. I love Peeta Mellark with all my heart; more than I have ever loved anyone before. Not Gale, not my mother, not even Prim. I loved them, but this is different. This is passionate, insane, and fragile all combined into one. 

I have that feeling of hunger again. I want Peeta. More than I have ever wanted anything in my life. I feel as though I can't get close enough to him. Like we are seperated, but at the same time inseperable. 

I continue to kiss him, trying to block away my thoughts. Eventually we do have to stop, because we're both out of breath. He takes my hands, peppering them with soft kisses. I giggle, which makes me laugh even more. I never giggle. Peeta's mouth spreads to a big, goofy grin. 

He pulls me close to him, and kisses the long, disguting scar on my collar bone. I raise my eyebrows at him and he gives me a sad smile. "You're beautiful, Katniss." I glanced away, suddenly uncomfortable. I hated it when he said that. Peeta moves my chin towards him with two fingers. "I love you." 

"I love you too, Peeta. Always." 

So, I got the idea for this chapter from Follow_Your_Own_Star, so thank you sososo much! I'm dedicating this chapter to you. Hope you and everyone else liked it :) 

Also, merry (late) Christmas <3

Also Also, I'm thinking of writing a Maze Runner fanfiction sometime in 2015. Are there any TMR fans who would read it? 

Thanks :) -booklover2019