Always: A Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 90

*Happy 24th birthday Jennifer Shrader Lawrence <3*

Katniss

"Oh, Katniss. I forgot to tell you. Annie's coming to District 12 with Finn tomorrow. She called earlier," Peeta says. He's seemed to have recovered from earlier but he still doesn't seem right. But then again he's never seemed normal since the hijacking. I nod my head and go back to the screen in front of me. I'm watching the news from the Capitol. Usually there isn't much that interests me. It's mostly just gossip and rumors that I couldn't care less about.

"Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen-soon to be Mellark- have a wedding date set? Caesar, can you tell us anything about the happy event?" a man with hair as white as snow says. An image of Caesar comes into view.

"What did they say?" Peeta says from the kitchen. When I don't answer he walks out an sits beside me.

"Well, there is a rumor going around, Herald, that the Mellarks," he pauses. "I'm sorry, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark have a date set for just next month." I scowl and turn the television off. I'm sick of being the Star Crossed Lovers from District 12. I just want to be left alone, without the Capitol people barging in on our lives and spreading fake rumors like wildfire.

"Katniss, just ignore them. We aren't getting married next month," Peeta says, about to return to the kitchen. Before he does I stop him. "When are we going to get married?"

He shrugs and says, "I'm not sure. Any day would be perfect as long as I'm with you." He gives me a warm smile and walks away. I sigh and shut my eyes. This is all too confusing. I guess a wedding arranged by the Capitol could actually have it's bonuses. I wouldn't have to plan anything anyways.

That night, I manage to make it up the stairs so I can sleep in the bed with Peeta. I can feel is breath slow slightly as he's pulled into a deep sleep. I, on the other hand, can't. My mind keeps wandering off, worrying about everything. I worry that someday Peeta will leave me because I don't want kids. Even though I tell him that, I can see the disappointment in his eyes. I can see the way he looks at babies; the way he'll look at little Finn, tomorrow when they come here. I'm not sure if I want to see him. Now that he's a young kid, he might remind me even more of Finnick. I don't know if I could handle it. I can't believe how much Finn calms Annie down, when he doesn't even do anything. He's too young to realize why his father isn't there; why his mother often stares off and stops talking mid-sentence. And if I ever had a kid, they would always be too young to understand why Peeta and I get nightmares every night.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks. I guess he is still awake. I feel like he can read my thoughts somehow and I panic even though it's silly. Instead of saying anything I tilt my chin upwards so I'm looking at him. "I want to talk about my hijacking."

"Peeta. . ." I try to stop him but I can tell it's useless. I always hate hearing about it. I hate thinking about him in a cell, being tortured; hijacked. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. I wrap my arms around him tighter, but I don't want to look him in the eye when he talks. I'm not sure why but I don't. "The first night was probably the worst. I had no idea where you were. I thought you were there, too, or maybe dead. I heard the cannon go off in the arena. I thought it was you." I remember that perfectly. It turned out to be Brutus, the male tribute from District 2. I never knew how he was killed. When I heard that cannon, though, I felt one of the worst fears I've ever felt. Worse than when I volunteered for Prim. The thought that Peeta is dead is my worst fear.

"I saw Johanna in the cell next to me. Occasionally I'd hear water and she'd scream for at least five minutes without stopping." I tried to picture Johanna like that. Being tortured with water, screaming and crying. She didn't even have anyone to hang onto to keep her sane. But I guess after a while, Peeta didn't either. "They didn't tell me about my family until after they started injecting me with the tracker jacker venom. They made me believe it was you."

"Real or not real, Gale tried to get everyone out."

"Real. But we both know he didn't. He couldn't," I reply. He nods and I can tell he's starting to cry again. I don't tell him to stop. He's smart enough to do it on his own.

"They'd electrocute me, beat me a hundred times worse than my mother ever did. And they'd use the venom. They showed me scenes of us together. They weren't bad. But the syringes made them bad. They made it all shiny. And terrifying."

"Does it help?" I ask. "To talk about it." He shrugs and rests his head on my shoulder.

"I guess it does. It helps me sort things out better. Kind of like the real or not real game." I can tell he's getting tired, and so am I. These stories are taking the energy out of both of us. Before I can say anything else, I know Peeta is asleep. I kiss him lightly on the cheek and fall asleep too.

***

Yay! 90th chapter! So, can you guys remember wayyy back to the 50th chapter? The special flashback chapter of Peeta's hijacking. Can you guess what I'm thinking about doing for the 100th? More hijacking stuff! Joy!

Actually, that was only an idea. I really have no idea what I'm doing yet...I was thinking about the hijacked stuff but since I've already done that it doesn't seem super-amazingly-special enough. Do you get what I'm saying? I want the chapter to be super good for you guys because it's the only 100th chapter there is and it's a super big deal for me for some reason. (Also, I take back what I said before about ending this book at chapter 100)

So, if you have any "super-amazingly-special" ideas, please post them in the comments!! :)

P.S. Happy birthday to Jen, my inspiration, my number 1 role model, and the most beautiful and talented young actress. She changed my life and I can't thank her enough.