Always: A Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 103

Katniss

Peeta and I are both extremely shaken up. I practically had to beg him to go downstairs to get himself water. Although, I have to admit I didn't want to let go of him at first.

Then, I hear voices coming from downstairs. I pray that it isn't Haymitch. I don't want to see him, or anyone else for that matter. I stand up, my legs wobbly. I still can't quite make out Peeta's words, even from the top of the stairs. "Peeta?" I whisper. Like he's going to hear me.

"Alright, thank you. Goodbye." The voices come to an end and I decide that I can walk down the stairs now.

"Peeta," I say. He's standing in the kitchen.

"Katniss, you scared me. Why aren't you upstairs?" he asks.

"Who were you talking to?" I say, ignoring his question.

"Oh, I was just on the phone," he says. I raise an eyebrow at him, as if to say with who? "It was just Dr. Aurelius." A feeling of panic courses through my veins.

"He called here?" I ask, fighting to keep my voice calm.

"I called him. I assumed you didn't want to talk to him."

A million what ifs flip through my brain. One of them, I'm terrified to even think over. What if they take me away from here; from Peeta? What if they force me to stay in the Capitol?

"What. . .," I pause and clear my throat. "What'd he say?"

"He wants us to get on a train for the Capitol tomorrow." My stomach feels as though its a rock, sinking in water. I am suddenly terrified, and Peeta sees it. "Don't worry. I'm not going to leave your side, I swear."

"But what if I have to stay there?" I whisper, my eyes desperately searching for some flicker of hope in his.

"Then, I'll stay with you." I nod sadly and rest my forehead on his chest.

***

Later that night, Peeta and I are lying in each other's arms when he starts to speak. "I can't stop thinking about what happened, Katniss. And every time I do, I feel the terror, the panic I felt when first put together what was happening. I was just seconds away from losing you. If I hadn't knocked down that door, you'd be dead. I'd be alone, or dead." He pauses. "Probably dead."

"Peeta, no," I say. It hardly sounds like a whisper. My words fade away, into the nonexsistant breeze. The window I opened earlier is still slightly agape. "You wouldn't be dead."

"I would!" he says, turning so we're looking into each other's eyes.

"You're stronger than I am. You would live. For a little while at least," I say. And by the look in his eyes, he thinks so too. Peeta wouldn't kill himself after he found me; at least I don't think he would.

A line of The Hanging Tree drifts into my mind, causing a chill to run down my spine. Wear a necklace of rope side by side with me. The song now feels far too familar. I am the man, Peeta is the lover.

Maybe if we were both dead, it'd be so much easier. Where I told you to run so we'd both be free. I shake my head, knocking the eerie song from my thoughts.

Eventually, we both drift into a state in between sleep and wide awake. Whenever I close my eyes, I see the past day replaying vividly in my mind. How could I let this happen to myself? I'm stronger than this. I know I am. I've been through hell and back, and I'm finally safe. Or as safe as I'll ever be. I shouldn't be acting like this. I'm like a bomb, that wipes out everyone when I explode; Peeta especially.