Live, Love, Laugh ( Mikannie )

Part 34- I've...

Ariel

I draw in the sucky sketch book the hospital gave me. Today is the day that me and the others leave. So far, only Weiss came. Which is weird.

I stick my tongue out in concentration, outlining the frame of the wolf's head. I decided to draw a wolf today since I'm gonna be seeing Darling.

I stop for a moment and sigh. I set the sketchbook down on my lap and look out the window. The blinds were open giving in the morning light.

I don't understand. How can this happen to one person but the rest of the world seems fine? Well, that depends on the situation.

Everyone is getting hurt, killed, dying and suffering everyday around the world. And in some countries they don't even have problems. Just because it's not happening to you, it's happening to them.

The nightmares are worse. I've never been so scared just to wake from one and expect the ' king ' to be there. I've even tried to strangle a nurse because I thought it was one of his henchmen.

I'm starting to think I have PTSD. It was supposed to be getting rain and Andy back. But no, that wasn't the case. That wasn't such a very pleasant experience.

" Ariel ".

I yelp at the sudden voice, covering my face with my arms. " I'm sorry! I won't do it again! ". I pleaded fearfully. I don't even want to talk about what happened.

" Mommy? ". The voice spoke again and I almost didn't recognize it. I slowly lower my arms and peek open an eye.

" Lily? ". I said shocked. She was holding Weiss's hand and she looked different. Two years.... She's seven. And I missed those two years.

" Mommy! ". She said again but with a bright smile. Her hair was in a side braid, with blue jeans, one of ruby's assassins creed shirts and vans.

She let go of weiss's hand and she ran up to the bed. She jumped and climbed onto the bed. I smile wide as she makes small grunting noises while getting up.

" Your so big! ". I said as she sat on the bed. " I know right! ". She said and I laugh. " Elsa! Come over here ". She said gesturing for Weiss to come closer.

I snicker holding back my laughter. She glared at me and I put a hand over my mouth. " Yes? ". Weiss said looking at lily.

" Can I show her what you gave me? ". She said eagerly and I uncover my mouth. Weiss nodded and lily smiled. I furrow my brows and lily took out a necklace from her shirt.

" Look! This is what Weiss gave me for my birthday! ". She said coming closer to me. I look at it fixing the glasses on my face.

It was a metal necklace with a white chained L. " Cute ". I said and she beamed. " I also have one for you! I even gave one to Minnie, Ruby, and Darling! ". She said and I nod.

" How is your vision still? ". Weiss asked and I look at her. She was sitting behind lily and I shrug. " I'm practically  blind without them ". I said with a defeated tone.

" So does Mason's. Annie started to see blurry when her eyes were starting to re-color themselves. The others are fine, they just need reading glasses ". Weiss explained and I frown.

" Don't worry mommy! I think you look great with glasses! ". Lily said enthusiastically and I smile softly. " Thanks... ". I said with a low voice.

" Lily? ". Weiss said and lily looked up at Weiss. " Yeah? ". She said and Weiss took out earbuds and her phone. " Me and Ariel need to talk. Do you mind playing games while we talk? It's important ". Weiss said softly.

" Okay! I won't interrupt ". She said happily. She jumped off the bed first before grabbing the earbuds and phone from Weiss.

Once she put them on and started playing, Weiss looked at me. " It's not your fault ". She said plainly. " But it is! ". I said outloud.

" It is not. You can think that but it really isn't your fault. It was my dad's fault, he was the one who tortured you guys ". She said sternly and I wince at the mention of her dad.

" This... Is not your fault ". She said pointing to my left eye. " All of this... ". She trailed off gesturing to my visible scars. " Is his fault ". She said seriously and I frown.

The gash across my eye had healed but the scar is immensely big. And terrifying. Also the one across my jawline.

" Trust me when I say this. You are not the one at fault. You did what you had to do in order to save your family. Your wife and Mason's husband could have been killed. Would you've been able to live with that? ". She said sternly and I look at her.

She had a solemn expression and I felt tears well up in my eyes. " N-no ". I said with a broken voice. I felt tears stream down my eyes and I let out a sob.

" I-I would die if she d-did. I-I can't... ". I said but trailed off not being able to say anything more. I took off my glasses and put them on my lap.

What's worse about getting your eye cut, is that he did scratch my eye so it's now a lighter blue than gray. Good thing that Weiss only got cut across and not on her eye.

" I-I'm sorry ". I whispered and closed my eyes. I clutch at the blanket and let out loud sobs. I didn't know what else to do other than break down Infront of Weiss and my daughter.

After a moment I felt a weight press down into the mattress. I then felt small arms wrap around me and I open my eyes.

" Don't cry mommy... Your making me and Weiss cry ". She said and I look towards Weiss. Although I could not see well, I did hear her cry.

I put my arms around lily and sob into her small shoulder. Breaking down Infront of my daughter is something I never want her to see.

I've been kidnapped. I've seen Thomas almost shoot Annie. I've been through having Annie disappear for months.

I've seen Mikasa try to kill herself three times. I've seen Mason be eaten by a Titan. I've seen Annie without her memory. I've been tortured. I've been burned. I've been beaten.

I can't show that to lily.

Not now... Nor never.