Live, Love, Laugh ( Mikannie )

Part 36- I dont believe it

Annie

I can't.

I won't.

I never.

I don't.

I don't believe it. I never expected this to happen. How did I not smell it? How did I not sense it? How did my instincts ignore this?

The light shines through the depressed room. Blood stains the wall. Bottles of beer surrounds the bed. Razors on the bed stand. The ceiling having blood covering my art.

Clothes are scattered around the floor. Even some I don't recognise. The room looks trashed and looked liked someone trying getting away, dying.

I felt tears swell up in my eyes and I could not hide my shock. All the thoughts across my head are saying:

' It's all your fault '

' You broke your promise '

' What kind of wife are you? '

' How could you leave her like this? '

' Why did I let this happen? '.

My feet automatically take steps towards her. It's small and unsteady steps. I suppress the sobs and press my hand to my mouth.

I stop at the end of the bed and fall to my knees. I unsteadily grab her limp hand and let the tears fall. I look at her face and saw the cut marks.

She lays across the bed on her stomach. The blanket covers her nude body and blood stains the sheets. I look up her arm and saw the new and fade cut marks.

Her heartbeat is faint and her pulse is low. Her chest heaves up and down slowly and I lower my head.

" WHY! WHY! WHY!!! ".

I squeeze her hand, screaming. I felt disappoint and fear in me. I lean my forehead on the mattress and sob. My chest hurt and more tears fall.

" DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!!! ". I scream out and pound my fist on the floor. Am I this bad of a person? To let this go on?

I felt a very soft squeeze on my fingers and I sniffle. I slowly lift my head and I can't stop the sobs leaving my mouth. Like continuous hiccups.

I blink to, at least, lessen the blur. I sniffle again and look at my hand. Her fingers were flexing a little around my fingers.

My eyes widen at the wedding ring I gave her. I hiccup and turn to her. My eyes are as wide as plates. Her eyes were open into slits and her breathing was shallow.

" Minnie.... ".

She whispered and I felt my heart skip a beat. Her hands were as cold as ice and more tears blur my eyesight. I move her hand and brought my forehead on the back of her palm.

I sob hysterically and cry more tears. I nuzzle her hand. I felt her thumb rub slowly across the back of my hand and I hiccup.

" Minnie... ". She whispered again and I lift my head. She looked at me with half open eyes. Her lips weren't even a full pink color.

" W-what h-happened ". I said stammering and she just stared at me. I slowly stand up and kept holding her hand.

I look towards the bathroom and sniffle. I look back at her and lower her arm. I put a leg on the bed and lean forward.

I put my arms under her and she helped by moving on her back. I pick her up bridal style and move back. She felt more light as she put her arms around me.

She put her head in the crook of my neck and I walk into the bathroom. I restrain myself from seeing all the cuts on her body.

Surprisingly, the bathroom is clean. I walk to the tub and gently place her in the tub. She visibly shivered and I reach to the faucet.

I turn it on with warm water and she whimpered. I wipe my eyes with my sleeve and sniffle. " I-im sorry ". I stammer and she had her legs to her chest.

I wait until the tub was full. I turn off the faucet and look at her. She had her eyes closed and I could see the cuts on her legs through the clear water.

I strip off of my clothes and slowly step in. The water swooshes and I sit with my back against the wall. My feet are close to the wall of the tub and sniffle.

I heard the water swoosh and I look to Mikasa. She kept her eyes away from me and shift to sit next to me. She touched shoulder to shoulder to me and sniffled.

She lifted her finger to the corner of the tub and I look that way. I saw a black and white bag and reach for it. I also saw a ponytail and grabbed it.

I look inside the bag and took out a small coloured ball. " Woah... ". I mutter and it smelled like candy. She reached out and grabbed the ball from my hand.

I watch as she puts it on the water and it dissolves slowly. " Cool ". I said amazed and watch the ball make the water a rainbow colour.

I look at her and noticed she grew out her hair. It was now up to her upper chest and I shift towards her. She looked at the ball while I put her hair in a messy bun.

She looked toward me and I move a strand of hair out of her face. I tuck it behind her ear and trace my finger down her cheek.

I frown at the new cuts across cheeks. She looks away in shame and I lower my hand. Her arms show the most cuts, which made me anxious.

" I've been gone for two years... And you said you wouldn't do this anymore ". I said softly and I saw her lips quiver.

She let out a small sob and shut her eyes. I saw the tears leaving and I blink away the tears. She put her face in her hands and started crying.

" No.... P-please don't cry ". I said my voice breaking. It hurt seeing her like this. She shook her head and kept Crying.

By now, droplets of blood started coming up like bubbles. " Shit... Mikasa. Get up ". I mutter before putting my hand on her shoulder.

" No! ". She yelled shaking off my hand forcefully. I pull away surprised. She sobbed more and I groan frustrated. I went to unclog the cap and water started flowing through it.

" Mikasa. Get up, your bleeding! ". I said urgently. She shook her head as the water went down. " I-i don't care! J-just leave me h-here to die! ". She yelled and I furrow my brows.

More and more blood started coming out of her new cuts. I grew more anxious and grabbed the towel. The water drained away and I step into the towel.

I wrap the towel around her and she had stopped crying. She didn't protest and I pick her up bridal style. I step out the tub and set her on the ledge.

I quickly get her some clothes and put her in them. Which consisted of sweatpants and a v neck. I carry her, bridal style again and I saw blood seeping through the towel.

I ran out the room and down the hallway. I take a right into the kitchen and to the front door. I open the door with my left hand and step out carefully.

I walk across the porch and slowly come down the ladder. Once I'm on the grass, I make a run for it. I felt blood on my hands and I frown.

Please don't die...

Not now...

Not never...