Ezria season 6b

chapter 37: she's come undone

EZRAS POV:
for the past three days she's said one word to me. "ok." She's radio silent now. it makes me sick to my stomach knowing how broken she really is. it hurts. I've sat on the opposite side of the couch. she allows me to hold her in my arms at night. I know it makes her feel safe. she hold my hand over her stomach. she pulled on my tight to become closer. but during the day she's so distant. I walked in our room and watched her out her necklace on in the mirror. she saw me and turned to face me.

ARIAS POV:
I saw he and turned. he walked near me. I felt so bad because I feel like I'm pushing him away. I think I'll be okay after today I do. I know it sounds selfish but I just need today. today's my mothers funeral. he stood in front of me saying nothing but it meant everything. i looked him up and down. I reached for his belt trying to un do it. he grabbed my wrists

"Aria, we have a funeral..." he sighed

"we have a few minutes." I said back instantly

"Aria..." he sighed

"are you going to stand there talking or are you going to take off your shirt?" I snapped. he looked at me with those eyes and tilted his head. I knew he knew it gutted me but somehow I think he knew this would ease my pain. he began talking his jacket off and his shirt.

"wait stop... I'm sorry." I said buttoning his shirt back up sitting on the bed. he finished buttoning his shirt putting his suits coat back on and stood in front of me and pulled my face next to his stomach. I could hear his heart. Like I couldn't hear it perfectly like I can when I'm laying on his chest but I still heard it. something about it made me feel so safe and at home. I wrapped my arms around him. I finally got the courage to stand up.

"ok I'm ready.." I whispered he nodded and led the way to his car and we drove to the funeral home. I was asked to give a speech today but I don't think I can really do it but I'm going to push through anyways. after staring at that open casket not even looking in from my seat for an hour Ezra nodged me to go speak. he reminded and reassured me he was right here if I needed him. he held my hand till I got up and started walking on the stage. I looked in the casket and it finally hit me she's dead. I haven't shed a tear yet. not since we've walked in not since the hospital... the night she died. I felt my eyes fill I fluttered them quickly to make them stop. I stepped in front of the Podium and looked around and I felt the need to cry but I looked down and back up. I still felt that same need until I locked eyes with Ezra. I gazed into them and got lost. he smiled gently and those dimples.. man those dimples just made me melt. even where I was and what I was about to talk about couldn't take away from how I felt about his eyes and those dimples.

"I could stand here and uh give you a big long boring speech about how great of a person my mom was. but that's not the reality... she was an amazing person yes but she wouldn't want me up here bragging about everything good she's done in her life. she'd hate that. but I'm going to say how I felt about her something I wish I could tell her one last time because she deserved so much more credit then I gave her. when I was younger in my teens I had an inappropriate relationship I guess you could say." I looked at the girls as they all looked at Ezra and he looked down. I didn't mean to offend him.

"my mom she was there. she began to love him. she accepted him. he became the love of my life. when I lost him I lost myself. she helped me find him again. and now our second chance will last a lifetime." I smiled gently everyone knew in that moment it was Ezra some turned to face him knowing he was my husband but never knew the before. he looked up and smiled.

"my point is my mom has always made the right choices in life. she was a leader never a follower. she changed my life. she was more than my mother. she was my best friend. I've caused stress and havoc and chaos in her life enough or should I say more than any mother should ever deal with. she loved me whole heartedly and mom.." I stopped and turned towards her.

"if you can hear me... if you can hear me I need you and so does everyone else in this room with some guidance. because I know somehow I may need your guidance after today. I'm sorry for whatever I may do next in my life that disappoints... I love you." a tear finally fell and in that moment I knew I was broken. I looked out and saw people start to smile at me. the service was over and people began to hug me and give me their "condolences" but that's crap. they can never be sorry enough. everyone talked and drank at the wake but I'm done. so done. I can't sit here staring at the wall drinking this bottle of tequila anymore. I walked out of the building and Ezra came running after me.

"Aria!" he yelled. I turned around stumbling smiling dropping the bottle.

"she's dead!" I laughed as I looked down at the broken glass around me.

"Aria don't do this." he said walking near me

"Ezra go back inside, now!"

"no, I'm taking you home!" he yelled putting me in the car and when we got home I ran straight for the cabinets for the liquor there was one bottle of single malt scotch and I say on the couch drinking it no matter the taste. Ezra say on the couch across from me stressing. I thought it was funny. there was a knock on the door. Ezra opened it for the girls to barge in.

"she's broken. She's come undone." he said looking at me as they all stared inside I laughed and finished the last of the bottle and threw it at the wall.

EZRAS POV:
I watched the glass fly and in that moment I knew that's what she meant when she said she's sorry for whatever she does next to disappoint her mom.