Finding You (Dublin Sisters #1)

Chapter 25

Ramlah

It was down pouring. The April showers were a reflection of my gloomy mood. The rain drops slid down the window glass pane as I watched with no hope. There was nothing left. Tears trickled down my face, I can't live with him anymore. I tenderly lay my hand on my still flat stomach. A young life was growing there...I had to take drastic steps for the child's sake. Shutting my eyes, lips quivering, I thought of what Fahd may even do to our child in his drunken condition. Raising my knees up on the kitchen table chair, I wrapped my arms around my legs and buried my head into my knees. The loud cries echoed in the empty house bourgeoning my misery.

I must have probably cried for hours until exhaustion led me to drift to uncomfortable sleep on the chair. I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. Startled, I slightly jumped, but sighed in relief when I realized it was only Mama.

"What's the matter? It's been a week since you have been here and you haven't said anything." Mom enquired. There was concern in her eyes.

I laid my head on my knees again and silently watched the rain out the window, "there is nothing to tell." I whispered.

"Did Fahd call you?"

He did. He called twice but when I never received his calls, he didn't bother to call again. This time there were no text messages reminding me how much he missed me. He didn't need me. He already had his love. Fresh tears filled my eyes.

"Yes" I choked through my sobs.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing" I blinked hard trying to control my tears. But it was a futile attempt. I didn't know how I could produce so many tears. In the last one week, all I had been doing was crying.

Mom sat on the chair beside me. Taking my face in her hands she made me look in her eyes, "Ramlah please you are worrying me. Tell me."

"He pushed me down the stairs Mama." Again my eyes welled up.

Mama gasped and hugged me. It had been months since I had the security of my mother's embrace. The familiar scent of Mama brought back memories of my childhood. Oh how I wished I could go back to my childhood and never grow up. Never face this. Live a carefree life playing with my dolls.

"I don't want to go back Mama. Please don't send me back. He will kill me. He will kill my child." I clutched Mama as strongly as I could and buried my face in her bosom. "I will die Mama. Please. Please" I frantically sobbed.

"It's ok Ramlah. It's ok. You are not going anywhere. You will stay here." She hugged me back. Gently, she pulled back and wiped my tears. "Don't cry my child. It's not good for the baby. Think of that."

Immediately my crying ceased. Perhaps, I would have killed myself after the last incident. Fahd had sucked life out of me. I had nothing to live for. But this new life had given me hope. I was now only living for this baby. And I would do anything to protect it and cherish it.

****

Weeks turned to more than a month. Mom regularly called me. She told me that Fahd had started taking professional help in controlling his drinking urges. I showed no emotions at this news. She wanted to accompany in my first prenatal appointment coming up next week. I reluctantly agreed. But I had no idea that she wasn't coming alone.

I froze in mid-step when I saw Fahd's car parked in front of my parents take away shop. My heart beat rose and my hands started to sweat. Before I could run back to the house, the front passenger door opened and Mom stepped out. I couldn't move I just kept staring at her.

She must have seen fright in my eyes as she stepped near me, "Its ok Ramlah. I am with you." Taking my hand she led me to the car. With heavy feet I dragged myself. But once I reached the car I opened the backseat door and slid into the car. I was not going to sit beside him. In fact, I was going to ignore him.