skinny || h.s. au [Rewrite Now Up!]

fortyfour

When Marley was eight, she wanted to be more like her mother. She always wore tons of bracelets that clanked together when she moved and always had cigarette smoke curling into the air from her lips. Like any young girl, Marley thought wonders of her mom and assumed she could conquer anything.

So Marley wanted to be more like her mother.

The pack of Marlboros sat on the coffee table. And Marley doesn't remember what her mother was doing when she snagged the box and stuck it in the pocket of her blue hoodie. She just remembers sneaking to her room and setting the box on her bed. And staring at it.

When her mother barged in less than an hour later, it was still sitting on her blanket, next to a stuffed bear with pink plaid feet.

"Why did you take these?" Her mother yelled, snatching the box and waving it in the air at Marley. "These are mine! You don't take my things! These are for adults!"

"I-I just wanted to--"

"No. There is no excuse!" Marley remembers trying not to cry. Her mother also had some choice words about little girls who cried. Or tried to play outside with their older brother. Or did much other than sit silently in their room. "Stay in here and don't come out until I'm gone. I'm going on a date, your brother is in charge."

With that she shut the door behind her. Marley could hear her heels on the stairs. And a few minutes later, the front door slam.

"Don't cry." Marley said softly to herself. Repeating the words her mother had told her many times. "Crying is for weak little girls."

It didn't take long for the sun to dip low toward the horizon. And Marley didn't want to leave her room. So she climbed out her window onto the roof. And watched the sun set into the trees.

Sunsets always reminded her of summer days and fireworks. On those hot nights around the 4th of July, Marley would sit on that roof and watch her neighbors, or the town hall down the road, set them off.

Marley isn't sure if after that she went downstairs or stayed in her room for the rest of the night. But when her eyes got drowsy, she walked into the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and got herself ready for bed.

It must have been past one in the morning when her mother returned from her date. Marley guessed it didn't go so well, because her mother stumbled into Marley's bedroom, drunk and angry. "Get up."

Marley sat up, dazed and confused. She just wanted to get back to her dream.

"You want to smoke? Here." She tossed the pack onto her daughter's bed with a lighter.

Marley just sat there. Staring at the silhouette of her mother in front of the hall light.

"Well, go on."

With shaking fingers, Marley picked up the pack and the lighter. But she wasn't so sure about smoking anymore. And her mother was scaring her.

"Give it to me." Her mother stepped into the room and took the pack from her. Pulled out a cigarette before taking the lighter.

Silently, Marley watched as she lit the cigarette herself. Breathing in a bit before exhaling in a puff, not bothering to turn her head away from her daughter. "I don't care if you smoke. But stealing will not be tolerated."