Holding on to you

Hate me don't love me

HI GUYS!!!! I'M HERE TO BRING YOU ANOTHER CHAPTER, I WANTED TO GIVE YOU AS MANY CHAPTERS AS I CAN NOW BECAUSE SOON I WILL START UPDATING SLOWER. I'VE GOT EXAMS COMING UP SOON AND A FEW ASSIGNMENTS THAT I NEED TO FINISH OFF, SO DON'T GET TOO UPSET IF MY UPDATES SLOW DOWN. 

I REALLY HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS CHAPTER AND ON A WARNING NOTE, SOME OF YOU MAY BE OFFENDED BY THE CONTENT SO BEWARE. IF YOU ARE I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE, BUT PLEASE DON'T EXPECT ME TO CHANGE ANYTHING. THIS IS MY BOOK AND I CAN WRITE WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT. SO, WITH THAT SAID PLEASE REMEMBER TO VOTE AND COMMENT!

I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE KILLERS, UNTIL NEXT TIME!!

SOME STEAMY PICS TO GET YOU GOING. 

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Chapter 6

I'm the worse best friend in the world.

When I called Jessy from the bathroom adjoining Killian's room to tell her about the Paris thing, she was upset and kinda hurt that I didn't tell her about signing up. But I couldn't tell her that it was all a lie, that Killian made the entire program up because he didn't trust me to not fall into Jason's arms.

"You've been acting strange for the past four months, I can tell that something is going go, but what I don't understand is why you don't trust me enough to tell me. You never use to keep secrets from me before, why are you starting now?"

I felt the guilt eat away at me as a prepared myself to tell her another lie. I held the phone to my ears, clutching is tightly in my hands and sighed.

"Jessy, I'm fine trust me, it was just that I thought I'd never get pick for this program that's why I was so anxious."

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this, I could have entered with you, we could have gone together? I don't know Lil, something isn't right this is unlike you."

I closed my eyes and rest my head against the bathroom door. The clear hurt in her voice tore at my heart, I felt like after all this was said and done I'd lose my best friend and I couldn't have that. So I made a decision right there that I was going to tell her the truth, I needed her in my life because I knew that when Killian realise that he no longer needs me I'll be left picking up the pieces of my heart alone.

"Jessy, you're right, something is wrong, I've made a big mistake but I can't get myself out of it."

I heard her rustling about then what sound like a door closing.

"You can tell me anything Lilly, I'm your best friend I'd never judge. I'm sure whatever it is we can figure out together."

She made it sound so easy, like all I have to do wave a magic wand and all my problems would go away. But what she didn't know was that I can never get back what I gave to Killian, and all the pain and his extreme form of sex those I can never ever undo. I didn't even know if Jason will forgive me when he finds out that I slept with Killian.

"I wish it was as easy as that Jessy, but this is really big...I've screwed up Jessy, I've screwed up big time"

I heard the worry and concern in her voice as she spoke.

"Lilly, you're scaring me, please tell me what happened?"

I knew I was going to tell her, but I also knew that I couldn't do it over the phone. I needed it to be in person so that she wouldn't have a choice but to hear me out and hopefully forgive me.

"It's better if I tell you face to face...I'll be over in twenty minutes."

"But don't you have a flight to catch in an hour?" She asked confused.