I Want You Back.

Happy?

I went upstairs to my room and jumped into my bed. I stared at the ceiling..i got a weird feeling in my stomach..i don't know what it is. I should he happy, right? I should be happy he loves me back and i should be happy we kissed. Yeah.
Then why do i not feel happy?
My phone rang. It's Cindy. Oh i totally forgot to text her back. "Hey, cin." "ANGIEEE TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME DID YOU KISS??????" I had to take the phone away from my ear or she would have screamed until i was DEAF. "YES, WE KISSED. AND DON'T FUCKING SCREAM." "Angie?" "Yes?" "I think you should take your phone away from your ear right now." She said. Oh god. Luckily, i did what she said. I heared her screaming her lungs out. "DETAILS!!!" She screamed. "Well..he said i'm beautiful and stuff." "Awwe, that's so cute." "Yeah, whatever." "Angie? What's your problem? You should be fucking happy!" "I am happy. I swear..but.." "But what?" "Don't you think this is all going..too fast?" "What do you mean? You're in love with him, right?" "Yes, i really am..but he barely knows me. You know i have sides that are hard to handle..and flaws..what if he only loves me because he thinks..i'm beautiful..?" "Oh, Angie..i totally get you. But don't be scared. You're beautiful. From the in- and outside." "I had heard this for over a thousand times. It didn't help anything. It didn't change anything about my feelings. But..she tried. "Thanks. I gotta go now." "Okay, see you tomorrow. Love you." And we hung up. Fuck i forgot to do my English homework..i opened my drawer to grab my books and something made of glass fell out. It broke. Fuck. I picked it up to see what it was. A photoframe..with a picture of me, and... I blew the dust off to see who was sitting next to me. German..it was German. I stared at it for a moment. I looked so damn happy. Why have i not burned this picture yet? I ripped it in two pieces and went downstairs to get a broom for the broken glass.

I don't fucking get how you can ignore someone you once loved with all your heart for a fucking long time like nothing EVER fucking happened im so pissed off rn