Regarding Love

The life

"How are my nephews?" I ask through the phone.

"Great. They keep me up most of the time but I've got help so it's okay I guess. They're getting so big." Sharon tells me and I smile. I love them boys.

"Good. How's life with Leo?" I ask.

"Good I guess. He's adjusting I suppose." I hear the frown and my heart bleeds for her. I refuse to drag myself into their drama though. I've got enough to worry about.

"Good. When are you coming down?" They moved to the city to be closer to a better doctor and rehab center. The twins were born early and Leo can't kick his alcohol or take his pills.

"Leo goes into the center this weekend. I'll probably come down and visit next weekend."

"Well I can't wait to see you and the boys." I smile.

"I can't wait to see you either. How's my niece?" She asks on a whim. We don't really talk about me much.

"Perfect. Makes me want more." I smile at my little angel whose playing with her bear.

"Yeah they do that to ya." Sharon laughs slightly.

"Anyways, I'll see you soon?" I ask as I glance at the clock and sigh. Jared will be home soon and I haven't done anything.

"Yeah of course." Sharon says as I stand up slowly.

"Love you." I smile.

"Love you too." Sharon says and hangs up. I feel bad for her but I knew that her and Leo wouldn't be a good fit. It's their life though and we agreed to never discuss Leo. I only ask how he is.

"Wanna help mommy start dinner?" I ask Rebekuh. She just smiles and giggles and steals my heart.

I pick her up and set her in the high chair. I grab some peas from the fridge and heat them up for a few seconds. I lay her some out on the tray. She loves peas, carrots, and corn. She always has.

I start cutting the chicken quickly and throw it into the pan. I make sure to keep Rebekuh in my line of sight though. Id never forgive myself if something happened.

A knock at the door startles me and I set my knife down gently.

"Mommy will be right back." I kiss her head tenderly and make my way to the door. When I open it, there's no one there. When I look around, I notice an envelope and pick it up. I must've dropped it when I checked the mail. I don't have time for this. I really need to cook dinner.

The mail gets thrown into a pile and I go back to making dinner. I fry the chicken in a teriyaki sauce and start some rice and veggies. Eventually, I finish everything and take Rebekuh to the living room where we can sit down and I can go through the mail.

It was mostly bills but there was some junk mail, nothing too fancy. But a blank envelope makes me stop. It's thin and I'm pretty sure this is what I thought I dropped outside at the knock. I open it slowly and slide a piece of paper out.

Alice,

I'm sorry. We both know all the things I have to be sorry for so I'm not going to go into detail because it's painful for both of us.

My therapist suggested I write you a letter and ask for some kind of forgiveness or something but honestly I don't expect it. I did some things that were unspeakable and unforgivable. I wouldn't forgive me but I'm also a terrible person. You, on the other hand, are amazing and you have always been that way. You are a much better person than I ever dreamed of being so part of me thinks that you'll forgive me.

I'm glad you have Jared and Rebekuh. I don't dream of ruining your life anymore. I dream of being a better person someday, hopefully soon. The kind of man my children are proud to claim and Sharon deserves a good man. I don't deserve my family as I am but that's why I have to try harder.

I have to go. Sharon will be home with the boys soon and I don't want her to know that I'm writing this letter. She'll think that I'm better and insist that I don't have to go to rehab.

I hope life continues to treat you well. But if things go according to plan, hopefully, we will be friends someday. In the meantime, I wrote a check for you. I didn't have to for this letter but once I considered what you put up with from me, it's the least I can do. Also, mom threw in some of the money from the book sales. Apparently, it's been at number 1 since it released.

Leo

I wipe my eyes softly so I don't make them red and then look in the envelope and slide the check out.

1 MILLION DOLLARS

I stare at the check in disbelief and look to the door when it opens.

"Hey baby. I'm honey." He smiles and sets his stuff down.

"Hey sweetheart. Come look at this." I say and hand him the letter. He picks Rebekuh up and then reads the letter.

"Wow. I'm impressed actually. He's doing the right thing." He hands the letter back to me and I watch as he kisses our daughter sweetly.

"Do you want to see the check or should I tell you how much it's for?" I ask.

"Just tell me." He smiles.

"1 million." I sigh.

"No way." He stops and Rebekuh whines.

"Yeah. I don't know what to do with it."

"Well we can deposit it." He offers.

"We could. Let's put it in a savings account for now so it can draw some interest. When we have a plan for it then we'll do something." I tell him and he smiles. He leans over the couch and kisses me softly.

"Is it too soon to ask for more kids?" He asks with a laugh.

"Not at all." I smile and he kisses me again.