Regarding Love

Merry Christmas.

December 25, 2014 10AM

I eventually got out of bed and showered. I think I scrubbed myself raw. Then cried again.

After dressing, I went to the living room expecting Leo but he left a note on the tv saying he went home to change. He told me to open my presents and wear something nice to dinner.

He got me a few dresses, some jewelry, nice shoes to match the dresses and some gift cards to my favorite stores.

I grabbed the nice green dress and the white heels he got me and all the jewelry I could find that would match. I did my hair and makeup first before sliding a bra on and then the dress. My boobs look nonexistent since the dress has a swoop neckline. I pull the dress off and then my bra before putting the push up bra on and then the dress. Well at least it looks like I'm a female now.

I look in the mirror for a long time before deciding that I didn't look different even after what happened. I didn't look less like me. I felt less like me though.

I grab a box and gather all of Leo's stuff. He's not staying here anymore. We're not staying together until we're legally married. I won't feel like this ever again if I ever get over the feeling now that is.

I sit the box on the kitchen table before sliding the heels on and grabbing my phone and purse. I call Leo to see if I needed to come to his house or if he's coming to pick me up.

"Hey." He answers bored.

"Hey am I meeting you at your house or are you picking me up?" I ask.

"Eh I've decided not to go. You can if you want to." He says evenly.

"It's Christmas Leo. We need to see your family." I tell him.

"And I said I don't wanna fucking see them." He snaps and my heart breaks.

"Leo what's wrong?" I ask confused.

"Nothing I just don't want to see my fucking family!" He says loudly and my eyes close in frustration.

"Fine. I'm not going either. Thanks for my presents. Yours are still here if you wanna open them." I say sullenly.

"Maybe later. My Christmas already started off pretty fucking awesome. Are you gonna end it as good baby?" He says in a weird voice.

I hang up on him and leave my phone on the table before walking to my room and debating if I should go or not. His parents love me. They enjoy when I come over. I could always just call and see if I can still come. Regardless, I'm not gonna let him ruin my Christmas.

I call Leo's mom and wait for an answer.

"Good morning Alice." She says.

"Hey Mrs. Smith. Leo isn't coming over for dinner today." I say softly.

"Kathy, sweetie, call me Kathy. He's so damn frustrating I swear. You're still coming though?" She asks anxious.

"If you want me to, then I'd love to spend the day with you guys." I say with a smile.

"Oh I would love that sweetie." She says and I can hear the smile.

"Well I've got to take Leo his presents and then I'll be on my way. You know how long it takes to get there." I tell her.

"We'll see you in about 3 hours sweet girl."

"I'll see you in a bit." I say before hanging up.

I throw a jacket on before grabbing the 2 Christmas bags for Leo's parents and his box of stuff before loading the car and walking back up to put all of Leo's presents into a bag. I walk out and lock the door behind me. Then I walk back down the stairs to load it.

The radio is my only comfort for a good 30 minutes. I pull into Leo's driveway and I feel sad knowing this will be my home in a few months. I'll be sharing a home with Leo. King of assholes.

I grab his bag and haul it on the porch. I ring the doorbell and wait for him to answer. He has a key to my apartment but asking for a key to his house was like breaking a law or something.

The door swings open and the glass door is swung open effectively hitting me and making me drop everything.

"Ow shit. That really hurt." I mumble as I grab my head.

"Sorry." Leo mumbles and lays against the door frame.

"Merry Christmas." I say as I grab the bag and hand it to him. I try to manage my best smile.

"I don't want your cheap presents." He says and starts to close the door. Oh dear God. He's just asking for it now.

"I worked my ass off to get the money to buy these. Take the fucking presents now." I say and push them past him and set them on the floor beside the door.

"I didn't fucking say you could do that." He warns.

"Well I did it anyways." I say snarky.

"What the fuck are you even doing here? I have better things to do."

"Oh don't worry. Im done here. I'm leaving." I say and make my way of the porch. I hear the door shut and I roll my eyes.

"Don't fucking come back either." He says and swings the bags of presents at me effectively hitting me hard. Oh my god. I'm gonna hurt him.

I stomp back up the stairs and push him as hard as I can.

"What's your fucking issue Leo? Let me tell you something. I'm about this close to snapping today and it's all because of you. I don't have to put up with this shit and I definitely don't have to stay in a relationship where I'm not welcomed. So get your fucking attitude together or I'm done." I say through gritted teeth.

"Fuck. You." He says with a wicked grin.

I rear back and slam my fist onto his cheek, in what I think is called a right hook. I step back shocked that I hit him. I've never hit anyone in my life. I've definitely never punched someone. He deserved it though.

He grabs his face and looks at me with a look that could kill. Our eyes stay connected and I wait for his words. His apology. Anything. I dare him to say something.

I drop my head and slowly walk off the porch and to my car. I look up to the porch when I get there and see him standing on there watching me. I look away before getting in my car and driving away.