Body Language. Queen

Nobody Fancies Me, Rog!

Still Roger's P.O.V.

"Aww Rog, have you got a crush on me?" John finally said, a babying tone to his voice as he smiled.

Although I wanted to dig my grave right at this moment and jump in, I couldn't help but spot an embarrassed smile on those lips of his as a blush crept around his cheeks.

It was adorable but I still hated myself for saying all that and felt like I wanted to punch myself square in the face.

My drunken voice wanted to blurt out, yes Deaky I've got such a massive crush on you it tears me apart everyday, but my sober voice was battling against it, like an angel opposing a devil, it was more in favour of disregarding the whole situation but of course, my big mouth just had to say something.

"I think everybody does."
For fuck sake, Roger!

I wanted to get up and crumble into the floor down the hallway where he couldn't see and just hope that the floor swallowed my stupid self up.

I was acting like a school girl.

I had to man up.

I gripped the whiskey tumbler between my fingers with such force I thought it might shatter, I was cringing so hard inside but all I could hear was that loud laugh of John's.

That blissful, full of joy laugh coming from the bass player. His face was lit up as his mouth was open slightly through laughing. I just stared at him uncomfortably.

"Bullshit!" He finally laughed.

I was a little taken aback, I had half expected a 'aww thanks Roger' joke but he was laughing because he thought nobody liked him? That he thought he wasn't attractive enough for anyone?

"Wh-what?" I was a little more serious than I wanted to be.

He sniffled from his laughter, "Nobody fancies me, Rog!" He stated.

I looked at him as if I was stupid.

"You can't be serious." I looked him over, his slender body, his long hair, those lips, those eyes. He was...perfect.

He nodded, gulping down his whiskey.
I tried to delve deeper and try to escape this conversation, "Come on, you still haven't answered my question, why don't you ever pick anyone up in clubs or groupies backstage?" I asked casually as I poured the remaining whiskey that was left in the bottle into my glass and began to swirl it around as I peered at him over the rim.

He immediately looked away from me, the amused smile had turned into a bashful one.

He shrugged, "Doesn't really interest me."

"Sex doesn't interest you?!" I exclaimed.

He covered his eyes with a hand as he masked the blush returning to his face.

"O-of course it does, it's just..." he paused, his cheeks were sucked in as he made eye contact with me.

Immediately, I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up from the hold he had.

"I don't have time for anybody at the moment." He shrugged, looking away.

His voice was quiet as if he'd just let himself down. Stopped himself from saying something else.

"Who doesn't have time for a woman in their life?" I tried to joke but he was sat forward now looking at the floor with his hands fiddling about.

My heart hammered a little harder as if I was waiting for the most important news I'd ever hear in my life as I stared at him anxiously wanting to know what was going on in his head, because if his body language was anything to go by, something had made him uncomfortable.

My fingers dragged themselves across the material of the settee repeatedly as I waited for some kind of response but decided to break the ice of the awkward layer that had settled upon the situation.

"Umm...I told Freddie I'd call him when we had a plan, I think I'll go call him now, just...umm, just quickly."

I got up, glancing at John who was still staring at the floor with a mixture of anger, guilt and sadness written across his face, I wanted to know what was making him so on edge...and I knew Freddie would have some advice.

I raced upstairs, I could have used the phone downstairs but I didn't want the risk of John hearing.

I picked up the landline and dialled Freddie's number.

After a few rings he answered, his voice instantly soothing me.

"Hello?"

"Hi Fred, it's Rog." A smile crept across my face.

"Darling! About time, I've been sat next to the phone like a clingy girlfriend waiting for you to call! How are things going, have you fucked him yet?" I could hear the sneer in his voice.

I held back laughter, "No you vulgar arse! We've been talking about how to get you with Brian actually."

"What?! Oh Roger, you shouldn't waste your time with John talking about me!"

"We haven't just been talking about you, we got a bit drunk and my mouth just walked away with me...again."

"Shit."

I let out an embarrassed laugh, "Yeah...umm, things have gotten a bit weird, I was just asking him harmless questions and now he's really quiet as if he's angry at me."

"Fucking shit."

I sighed, Freddie's reactions were appropriate. "Fred, come over, please?" I begged.

"Now?!"

"Yes...I really could do with talking to you, I can tell John you're coming round to discuss the plan we have for you and then somehow get rid of him..."

There was a small pause.

"Okay okay, you've twisted my leg, I'll be there in ten, bye love."

He hung up before I could say goodbye back but I was grinning from ear to ear knowing I could get some of Freddie's expertise tonight and not have to loose sleep over it.