Body Language. Queen

Weird And Not So Wonderful.

Freddie's P.O.V.

As soon as I walked out of our house the smile on my face disappeared and my happy aura dissolved. I was faking it.
I wasn't happy. I didn't want to smile. But I did as Roger and John said. To get back at Brian subtly. And they were right. I could tell it was working.

Inside I was still broken. I was in agony. I was sad. Angry. Frustrated. Shocked. Lonely.

I just could not fathom why he would make me tell him, to build me up and say he was flattered and then drop me back onto the concrete and remind me that he's not gay.

I know you're not gay, Brian. I've known all along. Why the fuck do you think I'd kept this to myself for so long. To keep my heart in tact.

Now I regretted everything. I regretted telling him. I regretted even letting him know that I liked someone. I regret ever falling for him.

He's done with me. I'm done with him.

Time to focus on finding someone I at least know goes for the same sex.

I thought about Charlie. How I know for a fact he is gay. He does like me. And he wouldn't hurt me.

I thought about everything I'd said to Brian last night, how I didn't like like Charlie. How tonight wasn't a date.

I was clearly just being a bitter drunk. I woke up this morning having struggled to sleep with feeling ill and soaking the pillow with my pathetic crying...with a change of heart.

I was going to give Charlie a chance. I did fancy him. He was cute. Last night was obviously some dumb drunken antics and we all have those moments. He was different sober. I was going to class this as a date.

I was going to wipe my hands clean of Brian. No more tears were to be wasted on him. I had no chance with him so there's no point in me still hanging onto him. He was going to be nothing to me except for a friend and a fellow band member.

On the other hand, I was going to throw myself into trying to work something out with Charlie. I was going to allow myself to put all my energy on him.

I was ready for a relationship.

"Hello, darling." I smiled, stepping into his house and hugging him quickly.

"How are you?" He asked, sweet and modest ever. This was the Charlie that I liked. The quiet and innocent one. The drunk one was far too much like myself.

"I haven't quite recovered from last night but I'm sure your company can cure a hangover." I flirted, giving him a smirk.

He blushed heavily, "Same actually. I've come to realise I really embarrassed myself last night."

"Nonsense. We all have wild nights." I tried to reassure him.

"We don't all swing from the ceiling on top of a stripper cage and then beg to be fucked by Freddie Mercury." He mumbled as he collected his coat, he seemed to be stuck in a dose of serious regret.

I hid my wrist behind me, gathering he didn't know that his actions were basically the cause of my injury.

At least now I knew it really was the alcohol that had been controlling him last night and not his true self coming to the surface.

I had not made reservations at any restaurant for our date seeing as though I'd only just pulled myself together and was still plastering on a fake happy mood. Although being with Charlie was really lifting my spirits.

"Where do you fancy going?" I asked him as we had started to walk down the street and into town.

I already wanted to act like a couple, I wanted to hold his hand and kiss him on the cheek. It made me appear desperate but it had been so long since I had someone I could actually call mine.