Body Language. Queen

Rekindle My Fire.

Freddie's P.O.V.

I stopped struggling and trying to fight him off as soon as that question rolled off of his tongue, I looked up into his slightly pained eyes and started to mentally question myself...how could he ask me that...?

Is that really how I made him feel? Like...I didn't want him?

Instead of trying to break out of his tight grip I got closer to him, taking my hands that were previously trying to claw my way out his hold and instead, placed them gently on his shoulders.

He looked down at me as I looked up at him, an instant wave of guilt filling up inside of me, "Of course it's you, Bri, of course it is."

A small smile appeared on his lips as he nodded a little, "Sure?" He asked, quietly.

"Positive." I nodded, smiling also now.

I don't know what was wrong with me. I don't know what was happening. Had I just matured or had I gone so long without any kind of sexual contact from another person that the thought never entered my head anymore?
I think it was the latter.

I was used to not wanting it anymore, used to stopping myself thinking about it too much so that I wouldn't have given in to some stranger. I was celibate. I had forgotten what sex was like.
Dramatic, I know, but it was true.

I had forgotten what it was like to be turned on by somebody, to have somebody else's hands roam about my body and please me, to have somebodies strained groans choking out my name...it had been a long time since I tossed myself off, I had quickly gotten bored of my own hand pleasing me and the thought never turned me on anymore...nothing turned me on anymore. I was so used to not doing anything that I never got horny anymore.

One of the things I couldn't get out of my mind all those months ago was the fact that I so desperately wanted to fuck Brian. I used to create vivid images in my mind at how I wanted things to pan out between him and me in the bedroom, the scenarios in my head so realistic that they alone were enough to cause me to get a hard on.

And now...now he was my boyfriend, I had him at my dispense, I had every right and every opportunity to have sex with him and recreate those blissful imaginary situations for real, yet the thought had never once crossed my mind since being together properly.

And I had never thought about how this could've been affecting him. He was a man with his own needs, a man who wasn't on a silly sex ban like myself, he was still somewhat active...or rather he had been before me.

That means because of my own actions, or rather, lack of, he had also gone without for months. It must have been torture for him. He had been so patient with me but I could tell his patience was wearing thin.

I don't know what I was thinking, I didn't have to be on this sex ban anymore. Not with Brian.

I wanted to be intimate with him. I always have done. I needed to take Brian up on his offer and let him rekindle my fire...and to see what he's truly made of because celibate for months or not, I was still a good fuck.

Or...rather I hoped to god I was because I don't want to be awful when it comes to mine and Bians first time after years of bragging about how much of a good fuck I am in front of him.

But it was going to be hard to get myself out of this frame of mind, the one where I kept telling myself I can't do anything with anyone, I have to wait.

But I don't have to wait anymore. I'd found the one for me.

We'd broken apart and had begun to pack up our belongings into our little luggage bags, the other two escaping earlier so they wouldn't have to put up with my rage, I was still a little angry about the mistakes during the show but I wasn't as bad, they all knew now not to do it again.