DEATH BATTLE

Episode 1: Cloud Strife vs Mikasa Ackerman

Final Fantasy vs. Attack on Titan! When two brooding, orphaned soldiers with mastery over the blade face off, who will survive? The champion of the Lifestream, or the femme fatale Titan-exterminator?

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Wiz: It's a common knowledge that the pen is mightier than the sword, but when in the right hands, the sword becomes deadlier than all else, especially when they're wielded by dark, brooding soldiers with a bad case of backstory.

Boomstick: Like Cloud Strife, the legacy of Zack Fair!

Wiz: And Mikasa Ackerman, the soldier worth a thousand soldiers. This might seem to be an odd matchup, but these two have more in common than you may think: They're both dark, brooding soldiers--

Boomstick: *cough* CLOUDSHOULDHAVEFOUGHTLEVI *cough*

Wiz: Shut up! Anyway, as I said earlier, they both have a bad case of backstory...and they can adapt to any situation using their swords. And they have some degree of loyalty to their friends in them.

Boomstick: Oh. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

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CLOUD STRIFE

Wiz: Born and raised in the small remote town of Nibelheim, Cloud Strife was subjected to a tragic life from the get-go. His father died when he was young, and he was constantly getting picked on by his neighbors. He was isolated for fourteen years in his life.

Boomstick: Oh, you think that's just it? Cloud vowed to join SOLDIER, a coveted band of super-soldiers, to prove himself, but he didn't make the grade.

Wiz: But Cloud did get into the Shinra Army as an infantryman. He made fast friends with a high-ranking SOLDIER named Zack Fair, and the two went on assignments together. You'd think Cloud's life would stop being so sh*tty...

Boomstick: ...until one tragic event came along. You see, an emo goth-guy went to Nibelheim and discovered his alien mother hidden in there. He celebrated with fireworks!

Wiz: Witnessing his mother die and the madman Sephiroth burn down his hometown, Cloud Strife took off to Mount Nibel's Mako reactor, took up his friend Zack's blade, and defeated Sephiroth with it. However, the battle took its toll on him, and he succumbed, only to be retrieved by Shinra's Science Department and forcefully exposed to Mako poisoning, a raw energy drawn from the planet itself.

Boomstick: Oh, you want another tragic event that happened to Cloud? ZACK DIES. Distraught over the death of his friend, Cloud took up Zack's Buster Sword, and somehow the Mako gave him all of Zack's memories, INCLUDING his First Class SOLDIER training. Thanks, strangely convenient planet poison!

Wiz: Cloud also inherited the Buster Sword, and for almost two months it was his base weapon, which saw to the defeat of Sephiroth. Eventually, Cloud exchanged the Buster Sword for his own Fusion Sword, a blade as colossal as the former but with the ability to split into six different blades.

Boomstick: The Fusion Swords can be a broadsword, an axe, a rapier...oh, it can be whatever you want it to be.

Wiz: *twitch*