DEATH BATTLE

Episode 20: Goliath vs Eren Yeager

(A/N: You're gonna see a bunch of music tracks to cue in the battle. Play them to level up the action. Just a suggestion!)

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Gargoyles vs Attack on Titan! When two beastly saviors of mankind duke it out in an all-out battle to the death, who will win? Who will die?

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Wiz: Imagine right now. What would humanity's last hope look like? A knight in shining armor mounted on a white horse? A female swordsman with unparalleled magical skill?

Boomstick: Or a freaking rampaging beast! Strap in, 'cause we're talkin' about two beastly saviors of humanity!

Wiz: Correct. Sometimes, the savior of humankind may not be a knight in shining armor, but a beast shunned by many. Like Goliath of the Manhattan Clan...

Boomstick: And Eren Yeager of the Survey Corps!

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

*~*~*~*~*~*

GOLIATH

Boomstick: A thousand years ago, humanity was kept on its knees by superstition. It was an age of fear. It was the age...of—

Wiz: *smacks Boomstick over the head* Boomstick! Don't reuse info from the original DB! We've done that too many times already!

Boomstick: What, can YOU do a better intro?

Wiz: *groan* Gargoyles are creatures who are made flesh by night, but stone once the sun rises. They were once commonplace, and they used to be protectors of homes.

Boomstick: Now I kinda regret tossing my shotgun-toting lawn gnomes away...

Wiz: In the year 984 A.D. the gargoyles struck a deal with a clan of humans led by Prince Malcolm. In exchange for protecting them at night, the humans would protect the gargoyles during the day, as gargoyles will turn to stone.

Boomstick: The gargoyles were led by Goliath, a dude with a freaking sexy voice!

Goliath: You are trespassing.

Boomstick: But things weren't all well for Goliath and his buds. Because what would you expect humans a thousand years ago to walking, talking beasts, besides being utter racists?

Wiz: After the death of Prince Malcolm, the remaining humans plotted against the gargoyles, and like Scottish Inquisitors or something, they decimated almost all of the gargoyles. When Goliath returned, he saw that his entire clan had been murdered.

Boomstick: The ones left over? They were magically sealed in stone forever by a misinformed wizard. So what does Goliath do? Go Viking on the humans' asses, that's what!

Wiz: Ha! You wish. Plunged into grief and despair, Goliath begged the court mage to make him share his clan's fate forever. Which is what would have happened if the curse didn't have a certain condition: "They would sleep, until the castle rises above the clouds."

Boomstick: Which means literally above the clouds! Cut to 1994, where some Xenoblade billionaire decides to freaking move the castle on top of a skyscraper, which JUST SO HAPPENS to poke above the clouds!

Wiz: The condition was met, and in effect, the curse was broken. Thus, Goliath was tasked with leading his clan to adapt to the modern world...or at least as modern as the '90s can get. And Goliath adopted surprisingly fast.

Boomstick: You mean he was binge-watching blockbuster video at that time?

Wiz: Sort of...Anyway, it appears that Goliath was naturally suited to traverse the expanse of New York with the use of his wings. Let me make one thing clear, though: Goliath insists that he cannot fly, only...glide on air currents.