DEATH BATTLE

Episode 7: Darth Vader vs Ganondorf

(A/N: FINALLY, a legit fight!)

Star Wars vs. The Legend of Zelda! When two masters of evil square off in the battlefield, only one can leave alive.

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Wiz: Throughout Death Battle, we've seen all manner of villain-on-villain clashes, but very few can compare to the evil and power of these two lords of the dark.

Boomstick: Darth Vader, the dark lord of the Sith.

Wiz: And Ganondorf, the Demon King.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

DARTH VADER

Wiz: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a name feared by many across the stars. His crimson blade would bring judgment on those who would oppose the Empire, and the few remaining Jedi were forced into hiding in fear of him alone. This masked murderer was known as Darth Vader. But before he was a dark lord of the Sith, he was Anakin Skywalker, an innocent child sold to slavery in the harsh desert planet of Tatooine.

Boomstick: Anakin was a prodigy mechanic, a prodigy Podracer, and a prodigy Jedi. So I bet the whore house boss who bought him got a pretty sweet deal. Then Liam Neeson showed up and measured his power level--

Vegeta: It's over 9000!

Wiz: NO! The Jedi found out that Anakin was the fabled Chosen One, destined to bring balance to the all-powerful Force by vanquishing the darkness. With his high amount of midi-chlorians--

Boomstick: You know, the Star Wars equivalent of nanomachines.

Wiz: --Anakin grew to be an extremely powerful Jedi. He quickly rose through the ranks to the very top, and was capable of lifting starships and crushing buildings with just his mind. He was even given his own unit in the Clone Wars: the legendary 501st Legion.

Boomstick: He also became this...thing.

Anakin: It's all Obi-Wan's fault! He's holding me back!

Wiz: But over time, the vast potential of the Force became intoxicating to Anakin. He was tempted to the dark side in every turn, doing unexpected things in his tenure as a Jedi.

Boomstick: Including massacring an entire village of Tusken Raiders for killing his mother. But Anakin remained strong...uuuuntil he had a dream of Natalie Portman dying and he finally decided to sell his soul to the devil.

Wiz: Not exactly. After a vision of his pregnant wife's death, Anakin decided to finally turn to the dark side of the Force for answers and a way to save her.

Boomstick: Despite being trained in the Jedi's pacifism, Anakin learned that it was much more fun killing people, and massacred the entire Jedi Order. His punishment? A hard lecture with his old master which included some lightsaber fighting and a leisurely lava dip.

Wiz: Severely mutilated after a battle with his master, Anakin was retrieved by his new master and given cybernetic augments and a dark suit of armor. Thus he took the name Darth Vader.

Boomstick: There's a lot of stuff you probably hated about Anakin before. But don't worry! Vader is nothing like that whiny-ass little prequel b*tch. He's a badass through and through with one of coolest voices of all time!

Darth Vader: I have you now.

Wiz: Darth Vader is sustained by his dark armor, a mobile life support system designed to provide protection to what remained of him and intimidate foes. The armor also gave him a tremendous boost in raw physical strength and stamina.