(A/N: Look, I know I said I was gonna do Nathan Drake vs Lara Croft. My full explanation as to why I did this, as well as an announcement, is at the end of this chapter.)
King of Fighters vs. Final Fantasy! Two of gaming's bustiest and deadliest femme fatales will square off, but among the Shiranui School's greatest assassin and AVALANCHE's greatest brawler, who will leave alive?
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Wiz: As far as erotic femme fatales go, our two combatants today are certainly among the most blessed, and the deadliest in their trade.
Boomstick: Mai Shiranui, the SNK ninja with great...strength!
Wiz: And--
Boomstick: Tifa Lockhart, the Final Fantasy brawler with tremendous...power! Sorry, I got excited.
Wiz: Please don't tell me I have to go through this...Oh well, I might as well play along. I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
MAI SHIRANUI
Wiz: Mai Shiranui--
Boomstick: You know, the woman who beat Chun-Li. Seriously, though, LOOK AT THOSE THINGS!
Wiz: ...A ninja of the Shiranui clan, Mai is--
Boomstick: The object of every man's twisted fantasies back in the day. Wizard, I command thee to gaze upon Mai's huge jugs in order for someone to share my fantasies!
Wiz: *white and fearful* Thanks, but I'll pass...Anyway, moving on. Mai was trained by her grandfather in the art of Koppo-ken, which specializes in rapid strikes, pressure points, and bone snapping. From the perverted yet renowned--
Boomstick: And pretty damn lucky! I mean, he gets to get some grapples in! Lucky bastard.
Wiz: ...From the renowned Jubei Yomato, Mai became adept at judo, which supplements the Koppo-ken technique with grapples, throws, and submission holds.
Boomstick: See what I mean?
Wiz: ...I'd rather not. In combat, Mai often relies on taking down her opponents with quick, powerful strikes. Missing her attacks entirely often leaves her wide open. Mai also specializes on fake-out moves to catch her opponent off guard.
Boomstick: She's also got an unlimited amount of steel fans she can throw, which I guess she takes out from her nonexistent bra. Holy crap, I'm trying my best not to drift off...
Wiz: Actually, you're sort of right. While her outfit is light and overly revealing, it doesn't seem to bother her in the slightest. Mai utilizes a sexually distracting technique called kunoichi to catch her male...and scatter-brained opponents who drool over the soundboard...off guard.
Boomstick: I'm sorry, what? I was distracted.
Wiz: This is coming out of your pay...Mai also has pyrokinesis, which allows her to, well...create fire. She can also use this to control any existing fires, or cause explosions.
Boomstick: More like explosions of--
Wiz: Boomstick!
Boomstick: What? I was talking about the fire and explosions.
Wiz: Sure, you were.
Boomstick: Anyway, Mai's one persistent fighter. She constantly enters the King of Fighters tournament to win it and the love of her unofficial fiance Andy Bogard, but somehow she never wins.
YOU ARE READING
DEATH BATTLE
RandomTwo will enter. Only one will leave alive. Iconic characters from movies, games, TV, books, and lore will be brought to life here and pitted against each other to see who's the strongest. Experts Wiz and Boomstick will analyze the weapons, armor and...
