A Trip to Love (ARTL, #2)

Chapter 50

The last chapter! Epilogue na lamang ang kulang! Thank you! :)

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Karl's POV

Chapter 50

Give and take

In the young age, I'd never been serious in comes of relationship. I know in myself, I'd never been good in this term. Siguro, kahit anong gawing paliwanag tungkol dito, hindi ko pa rin ito maiintidihan. How could you know things if you don't let yourself to know it?

Walang kusa.

Sometimes, decision always come within willingness to know things. Being in a relationship is a decision. But I was a fucker in comes of this. Wala akong sineryoso. Wala akong pakelam. Anong mapapala ko, ika nga? But things changed...so damn unexpectedly. I never thought of breaking some of my principles. I never thought of I will be persistent for decisions. I never thought of this...

Hindi ko siya inabutan.

I was staring somewhere.

Nilagay ko ang aking kamay sa aking batok. My Adam's apple bobbed up and down. Pasakay na ng taxi ang mga magulang ni Nica kasama si Penpen. Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa manubela. My knuckles was turning white...fuck.

Tutok ang aking tingin sa pag-alis ng taxi habang ako'y nakaupo pa rin sa loob ng Ranger. Napapikit at napasandal ako nang mawala ito sa aking paningin. Now tell me how good I am...losing the woman who made me believe in commitment...bringing her down when I know she needed me...dropping her when I know I want her. Tell me, how fucked up I am now?

I lost her.

Damn it.

I lost Nica.

God.

I lost the love I only know.

Fuck.

My lips trembled. I placed my hand on my eyes. My jaw moved back and forth. Shit.

Why can't she trust me wholeheartedly? When my ears are all ready for listening her out? Why the damn I didn't listen when she was laying out what she wanted? God, I'm so fucked up.

Fuck me!

I was selfish. I was wrong. Nawala sa isipan ko na ibang babae pala si Nica. Na nasa isip ay matupad lahat ng pangarap niya. I liked her for being an independent woman. Na hindi kailangang dumepende sa iba para sa kagustuhan niya. She always wants to make her own move.

But..

Why the hell she was making her own when there was me? When there was us? Bakit kumilos siyang mag-isa? Bakit nagdesisyon siya na hindi ako kasama?

Bakit...

Maybe, because she didn't want me to know it...maybe there was no trust between us...

Naisip ko na hindi na niya kailangan magkatrabaho dahil kaya ko namang gampanan ang tungkulin na 'yon. Ayoko na sana siyang mahirapan pa. Nasa isip ko noong mga oras na 'yon na sapat na ang paghihirap niya at hindi na niya kailangan maramdaman iyon. But I was really wrong. Siguro naghalo na rin na hindi niya sinasabi sa akin 'yong tungkol sa pakikipag-usap niya kay Harry. That dude was her first love and I was her second. Fuck trust, I doubt it. Why did I trust uncertainties to happen when I believed her? Siguro'y natatakot ako na mawala siya. But it was no good, believing in uncertainties and being possessive at the same time. It will break your sanity. It will make you lose your trust...it will make you lose your woman...