I like to complain, a lot. So much, in fact, that if I got a euro for every time I ranted about something, I'd have enough money to go on a cruise, at least twice a year. Salty is my middle name, so if your food is ever lacking that sodium chloride...
The dream of most kids as they enter high school is to get invited to a wild party. Then again, nowadays we have twelve-year-olds holding parties where they drink and fuck (rant for another day?), so I guess it's not really that big of a deal anymore.
Anyway, in Teen Fiction, or at least in stories that revolve around high school, the goal of the MC is always to get invited to a crazy party with hundreds of people, tons of booze, and of course, the main man, Mr. BadBoy. Getting invited by the 'popular crowd' or having the airhead best friend snagging an invite is considered to be the greatest accomplishment of the story and practically the turning point in the plot. Tons of drama happens, feelings are hurt, promises are made, yadda yadda.
The MC is always, supposedly, the best-looking girl of the joint as she wears a dress bought from some shitty online store, sky-high heels that make her walk like a baby giraffe, and ten pounds of makeup. A single salacious look or fake-lash-lined wink gets every single guy—nerds, jocks, stoners, creeps, the teacher—wanting to bang this girl who, until then, was a complete loser/wallflower and just as relevant as Azealia Banks.
Let me add that this girl, a plain basic Becky, has never even had ONE drink before (yet has like five beers before she's tipsy), is a virgin in all senses (realistic before the Internet), and probably wears a rosary around her neck so she can shove the cross in every fuckboy's face as she saunters by, looking for the one. Despite every other girl being dressed similar to her, the MC is the only one that isn't a dumb slut/alcoholic.
The MC almost always shows up with her 'best friend', who abandons her at the first sight of beer/other friends, and never shows up. She basically pulls a magical disappearing act on the MC and doesn't show up until the big dramatic moment—excuse me, what happened to the girl code? Since when do people just abandon their friends at a stranger's house like that?
To me it all just sounds like a whole bunch of arbitrary plot devices; setting up the MC as being the hottest bitch in the place (who also adheres to the image of the 'pure virgin' who has the right to slut-shame and be condescending towards girls who are more open about their sexuality), removing the best friend, throwing the love interest in who just so 'happens' to show up as well (even though he's usually the loner/solitary wolf guy). It's way too obvious you're trying to get the protagonists to Woohoo.
One word: yikes.
It's almost like you can't have a high school story without a house party!
Where am I going with this? Nowhere. I just decided that it would be fun to waste two minutes of your time, just like that.
I'm joking~
My point is the following: many (not all!!!) Teenfic authors lack imagination when it comes to illustrating high school parties, resulting in every scene looking like something out of High School Musical.
Some kids read these stories and think that all high school parties are like this. They think that they all take place in some random rich kid's three-floored mansion (yet this kid goes to a public school?), has fountains of alcohol, a weed plantation in the backyard, cocaine, heroine, ecstasy, and the attendance of half of the town's teenage population. The program includes: grinding against horny dudes, fucking in every dark corner, drinking until you get your stomach pumped, destroying property, and projectile-vomiting onto everyone and everything. It begins at 5 in the afternoon, and ends at 8 in the morning the next day. Since when do parties start at five? A lot of nightclubs don't open until 10!
It's clear as day to me that a lot of the authors who write these scenarios have never a) been to a party b) are basing everything off the ten-thousand interpretations of other people c) copying movies or d) all the above. Otherwise, how can I guess from the moment I read "Omg, Brittany totally invited us to her 18th party! It's going to be absolutely crazy!" how things are going to go?
Also, why does every single party have to take place at some random dude's house? Do you know how much time/money it takes to organise one of those things? A lot of people are too fucking lazy to do so, and a lot of the time, the idea crumbles as soon as it fuels the lightbulb for that exact reason. Inviting the right type of people can be stressful, time-consuming, and downright disheartening. Most of the time, 100s of people don't show up as well, even though they check "Going" on the Facebook event; I've heard of some parties where only around 15 people out of the 50 invited show up, and ended up being 300% lame.
Parents aren't going to just hand over their house-keys to an irresponsible teen, but even if they do leave for the weekend, they do it with the hopes that their kid won't trash the place. Because realistically speaking, who would willingly destory the place they live in? Once the party is over, and everybody has returned to their own, untouched homes, they are the ones that have to deal with mess everybody's left behind. It's not like The Cat In The Hat movie, where a magical vacuum cleaner with 20 different functionalities can be summoned, and the characters clean up the entire place in a matter of minutes, finishing right before the mother opens the door!
Let's say that someone does have a free house, and they do invite people over. I remember a friend was in this situation, so she invited three of us over and together we organised a small party in her house. It was like planning for a bank robbery or something—we had to find people that were willing to come over on the day they were invited, then rule out all the problematic ones, buy snacks, mix drinks...
I'm not saying that wild house parties don't exist in the world, because they do. The fact of the matter is, in books, it's always the same thing repeated over and over and over and over (CTRL+ C, CTRL+ Vuntil the page is filled with it) and pretty much:
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What happened to beach-parties, barbeque-parties, lake-parties, etc.? These exist too, ya know, and they don't always have to involve complete strangers and people dying from alcohol poisoning. I've been to a few parties back in high school, and I can assure y'all that people don't always behave like complete animals (but sometimes they do, and the gossip that ensues nourishes me for the next few months). I'm pretty sure others can vouch for that as well. Parties don't always end up with someone calling the ambulance, transforming into an orgy, or the place burning down to the ground.
Parties can come in many different shapes or forms, just:
1.Garden parties—You open up your backyard to your friends, family, neighborinos and share a couple of beers over a BBQ and light-hearted chatting.
2.Lakeside parties—Everyone sits around a bonfire getting high and roasting marshmellows as someone whips out a guitar and plays Coldplay songs.
3.Pool parties— You spend the time splashing your friends, drinking sodas, diving, and devouring ice-cream.
The possibilities are endless, they really are, so the next time you find yourself reverting to that house party scenario because you feel like you have no other choice, take a step back; there are tons of alternatives.
Now fly, my little salty french-fries, off to a better fast-food restaurant with better music!
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Is there something that you're itching to complain about, but have the good sense not to do so on a public forum? I can do it for you! Feel free to PM me with the topic you want me to rant about, and I won't think twice before adding it here. I'll be waiting!
