Salty Rants

Do mei gramur sukk?

Short answer? Yes. Your grammar is a very proficient sucker. Also, for the sake of your dignity, don't ever take part in a spelling bee. You'll place last and be a disgrace to your family.

Long answer? Yes. But I should start from the beginning.

So I was browsing the web *takes a sip from a milkshake*, namely, catching some Wattpad waves in the Improve Your Writing club *grabs a handful of fries and shoves them in my mouth* anth I saw dthis thead cawled ack—*chokes* *coughs*

*wipes tears* Phew! All good, no problem here. *flips hair*

Anyway, as I was saying, I saw a thread with a name similar to the title. I can't remember the exact name, but what I do know is that the grammar of the question was absolutely atrocious. Like, I thought it was supposed to be a joke of some sort, or clickbait, so I—being the curious cat I am—decided to check it out, and perhaps even have a few laughs. (Because a lot of the stuff you see in threads is so pathetic it's better to laugh than cry about the deterioration of our society)

Boom shakalaka, I'm in, and the first post is written just as terribly as the question. It was something along the lines of:

Y wont any1 reed my stori? Is it becuz of mei gramur? Do u rly have to edit ur wurks even if ur riting 4 urself? Pls some1 halp!

I lost a few brain cells writing that.

Essentially, this person was asking about whether it's important to ensure that your work contains no grammatical mistakes when you post it. But before I get to that, I think I should continue my story.

I thought that this person was some sort of troll, because sometimes people post these things to get some beef going on, so I decided to head over to their profile for the benefit of the doubt. I lurked for a while, and the main thing I noticed about them was that half of their works were in a language different from English. The main work was the only one written in the aforemention language, but I didn't need to click on the book (no way was I going to give them a free read) to see how well this person could write. It took the first line of the blurb to see that grammar wasn't exactly their forte.

Now, my problem here isn't the fact that this person wrote a book in a second language. By all means, if you're able to do so, good for you, but it's the fact that they were seriously asking themselves (and others), why anyone wasn't reading their book. As if I want to read something that makes my eyes bleed. If I wanted to go blind, I would just grab a spoon and scoop out my eyeballs myself.

Grammar is one of the core elements of learning a new language, be it English, Russian, Portugese, Mandarin, and the rest of them. It's one of the first things you're taught after "Hi, my name is _____" and "How do I get to the lake?" and "How long does a body take to decompose?" Quite frankly, if you don't know how to use proper grammar, nobody will understand what the fuck you're trying to say. It doesn't matter if your plot is stellar, if your characters are lifelike, whatever, if the whole ensemble is unreadable, then I won't waste time reading it. It's as simple as that.

It's like me writing a book in Italian, for example. I can write relatively decently, but whatever bullshit I spew there would never compare with the one I spew in English. Heavens above, you and I can write whatever the fuck we want, but it's one thing to write it in a journal then throw it in a bonfire, and another is posting it on a writing site.

But this doesn't apply only to ESL people, it also applies to those of you whose mother tongue is English. Actually, it's a lot more disappointing to see a native speaker who can't write well in their own language, and I allow less leniency to people like that. Nobody's writing can be perfect the first time around, but if you won't even take 3 minutes of your time to read over what you wrote and eliminate the most glaring of errors, why should I torture myself trying to gloss over them?

Intentionally leaving your work unpolished is disrespectful. It shows them that you don't give a rat's ass about your work, and this sentiment is passed on to your readers. It's also very annoying when the authors of works like these then demand that you read their work. No, Charlie, I won't. At least, not until you fix those damn grammatical errors which would make any English teacher rip out their hair, or get an editor to do it for you.

But going to the next part of that question, "Do u rly have to edit ur wurks even if ur riting 4 urself?" If "for yourself" means, again, in a folder on your desktop, then no, you have no obligation to edit your work. If you hate yourself that much and are as complacent with grammatical errors as you are with someone swinging a bat to your face, then by all means, go for it. But "for yourself" doesn't mean in a public domain. "For yourself" doesn't mean in a place where people all around the world can see your work, because what you write and the way you write says alot about yourself, not only as a writer but also an individual.

It just shows how blasé and sloppy you are.

But I think that the funniest part of this whole thing is the fact that the person, the thread OP, was pretty adamant about accepting the advice of others. Using appropriate grammar is NOT an opinion, which you can disregard like you did with your deceased pet gerbil. It's a fact of life, kind of how you shouldn't head to work without showering, or stab someone in the back.

And let me just reiterate real quick. It's totally okay to post a work with a couple of grammatical errors here and there. You're a human being, not a robot. But if you seriously don't give enough of a shit to make your writing legible, then don't come asking for shit, or you will catch these hands.

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Is there something that you're itching to complain about, but have the good sense not to do so on a public forum? I can do it for you! Feel free to PM me with the topic you want me to rant about, and I won't think twice before adding it here. I'll be waiting!