Salty Rants

Last Night

I don't usually rant about shit that happens to me, but I think I should start doing that too now.

So as most people that live in cities, I live in an apartment building. You know, that tall rectangular prism made out of building materials in which dwellings are stacked on one another like layers in a sandwich. I live on the first floor (so not the ground floor, but the one above that), and the only two advantages I see that come with this are a) in the event of a fire, we're the first ones to get the fuck out b)if a serial killer ever decides to fuck with us, we can always escape out the balcony, jump onto one of the cars below, and save ourselves.

That's pretty much it.

Other than that, there are 3 million cons with living on the first floor.

a) There's always someone living above you that stomps around like big foot on a tantrum and seems interested in interior decorating or something because they're always fucking rearranging the damn furniture. Goodbye, naps.

b) You have to have metal gratings on the windows because it's easy to get robbed. Just throw a makeshift ladder over our balcony, climb up, and you're practically in. In fact, now that I think about it, my apartment has gotten robbed before—back in the day, when my mother was still a little girl. That has taught her a really good fucking lesson.

c) You can hear EVERYTHING that happens on the street. Cars driving by, pigeons fucking, people talking shit at 3 in the morning....

That's exactly what I wanted to talk about. Inconsiderate morons that decide to have a full-blown conversation right underneath my fucking balcony at 3 in the morning.

For those who live in the Northern Hemisphere, summer has come. In Rome, the unbearable heat goes hand in hand with humidity—yesterday it was 38 degrees Celsius (for all American folk, convert that yourselves. Still stuck in George Washington's time with your damn measurements). So of course, like any person who doesn't own an aircon (electricity is expensive, Italians are cheap. As are the French), I slept with the window open.

I had already napped for like 4 hours during the day, so I didn't get sleep at around 1 in the morning, which is when I decided to clock out and go to sleep. But little did I know that my sleep wouldn't last for two hours before someone decided to ruin it for me.

I wake up to a bunch of morons talking right underneath the balcony. Mind you, the windows are wide open, so I could hear the conversation as if I was standing right there with them. I hoped the would fuck off after a couple of minutes, but no, they had to go on for like twenty minutes! I know the people who did that won't read this, but I'd like you to know that you should kindly go fuck yourself for being so goddamn annoying! 

Like, I don't care about whether your nephew is getting baptised next week, or if your friend Marco got smashed earlier in the night. This is a fucking residential area where people do a little something called "sleeping" at three in the morning—if you want to act like dogs, go to the nearest dog park which is about a block away. 

It took the entirety of my being not to storm onto the balcony and give them a piece of my mind—not only was their car parked in an area reserved only to people living in the building, but they were making a lot of noise and overall being very annoying. I could've threatened to call the cops on 'em, but then who knows what they could do as revenge? The could come back and throw rocks at my windows, or destroy my satellite dish—we all know how crazy people are these days.

I feel like an old lady that yells at the partying teens next door, but goddamn sleep is precious.

rant over

🍟🍟🍟

Is there something that you're itching to complain about, but have the good sense not to do so on a public forum? I can do it for you! Feel free to PM me with the topic you want me to rant about, and I won't think twice before adding it here. I'll be waiting!