I like to complain, a lot. So much, in fact, that if I got a euro for every time I ranted about something, I'd have enough money to go on a cruise, at least twice a year. Salty is my middle name, so if your food is ever lacking that sodium chloride...
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
~Miss Piggy, The Muppets~
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Body Positivity For Women: A Poem.
Girls can be curvy,
Girls can be lean.
Girls can have stripes and scars,
Seen or unseen.
Girls can be super hairy,
Girls can be 'clean'.
Girls can be tall or short,
Or something inbetween.
Girls can be any color,
Girls can black, white, yellow or brown, anything, except green.
(Otherwise you might want to see a doctor)
Girls can wear makeup,
Or let their natural state be seen.
Girls can have acne,
Girls can be fat, skinny, obsessed with jelly beans.
Girls can be heavy-chested,
Or have boobs the size of nectarines.
Girls can look however the fuck they want,
Society cannot judge,
Please learn to love yourself,
And flush out haters like toilet sludge.
-:-
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Body Positivity for Men: A Poem.
Boys can have monstrous muscles,
Boys can be chubby or have arms as thin as twigs.
Boys can have hair on their head,
Or be bald like a suckling pig.
Boys can be clean-shaven or scruffy,
Boys can have beards as thick as wigs.
Boys can be weak and frail,
They don't have to be robust as oil rigs.
Boys can be as hairy as bears,
Boys can own lipsticks the color of figs.
Boys can have a beer belly,
Or a six-pack, with which they are rigged.
Boys can be short and small,
Boys can be tall and big,
Boys can be any color,
And rock any size of dig.
Boys can look however the fuck they want,
Society cannot judge,
Please learn to love yourself,
And flush out haters like toilet sludge.
-:-
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Hey amigos!
Instead of the same ol' rant, I've decided to dabble in poetry! I'm surprised that I managed to follow a proper rhyme scheme, but I dug my own grave when I went for the "-ig" rhyme in the second poem. Who gives a shit, right? I admit that I'm no Shakespeare, but I think it got the message across.
LOVE YOURSELF!
Attached is also BaeYoncé's Flawless, to remind y'all about your flawlessness. It does contain profanities, so watch/listen at your own risk.
I'd like to give a special mention to one of my Salty readers, namely, BetweenProjects for suggesting that I rant about Body Positivity!
I have a question to ask y'all:
1. You know how above each chapter I post a salty meme? Should I continue doing that, or should I get a banner made? Tell me your thoughts!
🍟🍟🍟
Is there something that you're itching to complain about, but have the good sense not to do so on a public forum? I can do it for you! Feel free to PM me with the topic you want me to rant about, and I won't think twice before adding it here. I'll be waiting!
