Monday, June 6, 2016.
Good morning, class!
How was everybody's weekend?
*collective murmurs*
Mine was great, thanks for asking! Have you completed the homework for today?
*collective groaning* *a few students shake their heads*
Well, I don't give a fuck about what any of your excuses may be for not completing the homework, because you had two days to do it! I'll be expecting the answers to the questions on my desk at the end of the lesson, and those of you who haven't done them will get a detention from yours truly.
Anyway, *pulls out marker from shirt-pocket* as I reviewed last week's lesson, I realised that instead of hopping straight away to blurbs, I thought it would be a wonderful idea to delve more into Titles. For those of you who have been listening attentively to the lesson—there will be a pop quiz regarding covers sometime during the week—you will remember that I briefly spoke about cliché titles.
As you already know, the best way to be a wallflower on Wattpad is to have the ugliest cover and most generic title in the history of mankind. To reiterate, the title has to be similar to hundreds of other books in the same genre AND it has to reflect your boring, overly-done storyline. This morning I thought about booking the computer lab to make you research the most commonly used words and titles for each genre, but that bitch Mrs. Robinson already snagged it last week, so I guess we can have a bit of a class discussion. Does that sound fun?
*collective groaning and eye-rolling*
We're going to do it anyway, whether you like it or not. If you have a problem with it, you can leave the class right now and get a big fat 0 on your report card.
*crickets chirp*
That's what I thought. *flicks cap off the marker and turns towards the whiteboard* *the cap hits a student in the eye* Sorry not sorry.
I'll put up last week's genre, Werewolf, as an example to get those brain juices pumping.
✏︎ Werewolf
Key words: Alpha, mate, Beta, Omega, rejected, chosen, possessive, predator, abusive, bully, rogue, werewolf, etc.
Potential titles: The Alpha's Mate, Rejected by the Alpha, Stolen by The Alpha, The Alpha is Abusive, He's a Werewolf, The Alpha's Beta Omega, Mating with the Alpha's Sister, Wolf, Claws, Deer Carcass.
*scribbles a list of the genres*
Now, with the person next to you, brainstorm a couple of key words and potential titles!
✏︎ Teen Fiction
Key words: Bad boy, nerd, virgin, new, crush, stole, love, rejected, player, bully, bullied, boy, trust, gang, gangster, falling for, [insert generic white girl/boy's name], saving, possessive, boyfriend, girlfriend, model etc.
Potential titles: The Bad Boy Stole My Used Tampon, Crush On The Rejected Bullied Player, Saving River, Falling For The Bullied Bully, The Nerdy Bad Boy, Robert, Stolen By The Boy I Trusted, The Bad Boy Killed My Family, My Boyfriend Is Actually A Gangster, The Bad Boy Is Part Of A Cult, Sacrificed By The Bad Boy To The Dark Overlord, Possessed By My Love, My Girlfriend Is Actually A Blow-Up Doll.
✏︎ Vampire
Key words: Blood (any variation), bitten by, vampire, king, married, love, sacrifice, offering, dating, fate, broken, slave, hunter, darkness, prince, dark, angel, sold, fangs, shadows, etc.
YOU ARE READING
Salty Rants
RandomI like to complain, a lot. So much, in fact, that if I got a euro for every time I ranted about something, I'd have enough money to go on a cruise, at least twice a year. Salty is my middle name, so if your food is ever lacking that sodium chloride...
