I Promise (A Michael Clifford Fanfic)

Chapter 15

"Michael I can't even put into words why I do it...I just... I just need to."

  Michael's eyes filled with concern, and then anger.  

"But why?! Why Rebecca! Don't you understand that I think you're perfect? I like everything about you, except for the fact that you do this to yourself! You don't "need" to do it, as you say, because you have people that love you. I wish you'd just stop." Michael yelled at me, his violent side making a reappearance. 

  At that instant, I shut down. I looked at the ground and stated in a whisper, "It's not that easy, Michael."  

I began to walk back to his car, and felt Michael's arm grab my wrist, as he tried to hold me back. I winced in pain, and yanked my arm away, continuing my walk to the the car.  

The ride back to Michael's house was dead silent, apart from the radio quietly playing. I stared out the window, and thought about what had just happened. When Michael blew up, I was honestly quite scared. I knew from talking to him, and his parents, that he wasn't the best at expressing his anger, and often turned hostile and aggressive in situations that he didn't have control over. I knew we would eventually make up, but I didn't know when I'd be ready to talk to him again.  

Once we pulled into Michael's garage, I quickly unbuckled and jumped out of the car, walking at a fast speed up to my room. I locked the door and collapsed on the bed crying. Everything this week had been so perfect, but I just had to go and ruin it by making Michael upset. It was literally all my fault, and so I felt obligated to receive the punishment I deserved.   

I dug through my suitcase until I found what I was looking for, then made my way to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I pulled my hair up into a bun, pushed my right sleeve up, and began to break the skin. My sobs echoed around the room. It hurt, but I had to keep going. I had ruined a possible relationship with Michael, and there was no way I was going to let myself off easy.    Suddenly, I heard banging coming from the other side of the bathroom door.

  "Rebecca please open the door! Please! I'm begging you!" Michael boomed as his fists pounded on the door.  

I just sat on the floor, tears streaming down my face, unable to react.   A few more minutes passed, and a few more cuts appeared on my arms before the door flew open and a devastated Michael was standing before me, with tears in his eyes.  

He rushed over, snatched the blade from my hand, and tossed it in the toilet. He then grabbed me in his arms and sat on the cool tile of the bathroom, rubbing my back, as I sobbed and tried to calm down. Michael was whispering soothing words, but nothing was working. I was still so angry at myself, and I knew that I didn't deserve to have him there comforting me.   I tried to loosen myself from Michael's grip, but failed, as he just held onto me tighter.   

"Shhhh, it's okay Rebecca, I've got you. Everything will be okay, I promise."  

After cleaning off my arms and bandaging them up, Michael carried me to his room and set me on his bed,turning off the lights and pulling the covers over both of us. I thought he was already asleep, and he must have thought the same about me, because after several minutes of silence he leaned over and gave me a short, but sweet kiss on the lips, whispering "I really don't want to lose you." His arms then snaked around my waste and pulled my back up against his chest. In this position, I felt safe. I felt like Michael would really protect me from anything that could happen.  

The next morning I awoke to an empty bed. I was slightly disappointed, as I had hoped for some more time with Michael, but I suddenly felt guilty remembering what I had put him through the previous night.  

I went back into my room and packed up all my clothes from the week, quickly changing into a fresh pair of sweatpants and my Ed Sheeran hoodie, before heading downstairs.  

I was greeted by the smell of bacon sizzling, and when I turned the corner into the kitchen I had to use every ounce of will power not to burst out laughing. Michael was standing at the counter stirring a bowl of pancake mix, wearing an apron that said "Kiss the Cook."  

Neither Michael nor his mom had noticed me yet, so I very awkwardly walked over the the other side of the counter and sat on one of the bar stools. Mrs. Clifford quickly noticed, and ran over and hugged me, before returning to flipping the bacon on the stove.  

"Michael insisted on making you breakfast this morning, Rebecca, but he was in need of some assistance, so I stepped in to make sure he didn't burn the house down," She said with a laugh.   Michael continued to focus on his mixing, but kept looking up and smiling at me.   "Can I help you?" I have whispered, half laughed.  

"You just look beautiful this morning, that's all." Michael said, barely audible.   I shook my head and rolled my eyes, as Michael moved over to where I was sitting, a mischievous look on his face.   He then checked behind us, to make sure his mom wasn't looking, and then pointed at his apron, wiggling his eyebrows. I laughed, silently, as to not draw any attention to ourselves, and slowly leaned in, my lips being met by Michael's. We kept it short, since his mom was standing no more than 5 feet away from us, but it still felt amazing, none the less.  

After we ate our breakfast, we loaded back up into Michael's dad's car, his parents in the front, and the two of us in the back, and began to drive back to the rehab centre. I would begin my classes and sessions the next day, and I was quite frankly scared out of my mind. The few days I had spent at Michael's house were amazing, apart from our little fallout the previous evening, but the thought of having to return to the clinic and have to interact with other people scared me to death.  

A while later, we drove up the long, shaded driveway, and into the guest parking lot to the right of the building. Michael grabbed my hand and helped me out of the car, closing the door being me. This acting made me blush like mad, and the quick peck he gave me before grabbing our bags had my face resembling a tomato. Everything Michael did made me blush, but he was told me numerous times how adorable it was, so I no longer tried to control it.  

We walked into the main office and got in the queue to sign back in. Nearly everyone had left for Christmas holidays, so all of the patients were arriving back at around the same time, causing there to be quite the line.  

"Michael, does everyone go home over Christmas? Because I swear it seems like every patient is in this line..."   

"Almost everyone.. I think Luke was the only one who stayed this year.. poor guy.. all alone with only the few doctors and teachers that stayed to keep him company.."

We both burst out laughing, thinking about Luke eating dinner with the doctors and playing card games with them. It must have been sad to not have gone home for Christmas, so I did feel a bit bad.  

We finally were able to sign in, and then made our way up the two flights of stairs to our rooms. Michael carried both of our suitcases up, and placed mine in my room, before doing setting his down in his own. We then made our way over to Luke's room to check on him, as Calum wasn't back yet.  

Michael knocked on the door, and we heard frantic whispers and lots of scurrying. A minute later, Luke flung the door open, to reveal a girl who looked a bit younger than us trying to squeeze her way into the closet.  

"Oi, Luke, who's she?" Michael asked, not realising that she didn't want to be seen.  

"Umm.. Oh.. Errrr.. She's.. Umm.. Well.." Luke stammered, awkwardly looking at the ground.  

"Hi guys, my name is Kirstin. I just enrolled here over the break and Luke was nice enough to show me around. It's nice to meet you!" She said, confidence filling her voice.  

"It's nice to meet you too, Kirstin. I'm Michael, and this is my girlfr- my friend, Rebecca."   

A/N sorry that my updates have been so spread out. School is horrible and I haven't had  much time to write :( Anyways, I hope you are all doing well! Please comment telling me either your favourite chapter or your facvourite part so far! I really am curious! Hope you all had a lovely weekend! Rebecca x