DISCLAIMER: These review/critique things are based on first impressions. I will NOT be reading the entirety of your book. My purpose is to urge my clients to learn something new about their story. (Though opinions may vary across participants.) Mayb...
*NOW, you can submit me your babies, but do so with caution. Do not rush to the form to try to apply, that doesn't work in this book. Slow and steady wins a spot in the queue, so read EVERYTHING. TURN BACK! Also, copy EVERYTHING word-for-word please.
*NOTE: The password changes regularly. Meaning, you have to play hide-and-seek with it. So stop looking at other people's forms. I will know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [FORM]
Title:
Genre:
Blurb:
Password:
Link:
Contract of Brain Farts and L's: Hi M! I, [insert name or user ], would appreciate a critique-review hybrid thing from you because I want some feedback...I guess. I think. I think that's what I'm here for. [Insert random fact about yourself]. Anyway, I'm so happy for you that the summer classes you decided to take instead of splurging your financial aid money on yourself have not killed you dead yet and you're almost done with them! Ugh, your mind ! So, here's the thing, I know that most of this contract is gibberish that mostly serves as a nuisance and an obnoxious reminder but, LISTEN, my book...it needs your precious time and attention, so please read it for me and all that jazz because I know that this is practically free if I already follow you so, again, you're fucking mind...it's inSanely legendary. #FactsOnly. [Insert here three themes from your book]. Einstein is literally quaking in his ashy boots. (As he fucking should?!) ALSO, *Dobby's voice* I swears it that I will give substantial feedback and not spit on the time you'll spend writing my review because I love having clear skin, evolving, and partaking in beneficial dialogue about my own shit. Anyway, please drag my book, King of the Jelly Beans. Thank you. (M needs this meaningless ego stroke, it amuses her as in makes her lip slightly twitch. Wow, our impact.)
~Bonus~
(Only for RR's and OT's): What is the EXACT date of BHR's birth?
[END OF FORM] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Not mandatory: Tag your friends in the comment section if you have cold feet about requesting, maybe someone else won't! Or just do it so I can close this book quicker, I feel like so unquarded! #SaveandRuinADayToday
*POST FORM IN THE COMMENT SECTION BELOW ONLY, DO NOT PM ME!
Request away!--If you dareto try something vaguely ominous.
*Pauses*
-Yes, that'll do.
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Proceed to the Sweaty Flaps and Creases Shack: Queue #6>>>
