Brutally Honest Reviews™

Flare

Word Count: 1467

Title: Flare

Genre: Fantasy

Blurb: In a breathtaking world where mages and enchantresses walk the earth, Flare, a young fire mage, lives peacefully in the nation of Sarbor Akuot where many mages make their home. But when Flare's twin brother dies suddenly, she must travel all four corners of the earth to find one of the last living necromancers who can bring him back. A tale of love, adventure, and self-discovery, we see the world through Flare's upturned eyes as she meets people from all walks of life, visits unique and formidable towns, and encounters danger and beauty beyond belief.

Status: Ongoing

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Starting Points: 30

Cover: It's very frilly, and pleasing to the eyes. I think it fits the genre. The only problem I have is that either your name/username isn't on it or it's too small to see. You should probably get that straighten out to make it look like a proper cover. Other than that, no points lost.

Title: Okay, at first I didn't think much of it. But, after reading the summary it is the main character's name and it also works well with her ability. It's simple and short, but I don't know...fantasies usually have long titles, or at least more creative ones. It's okay though, I'm pulling all of this out my ass, so don't mind my pickiness.

Summary: I can't find anything negative to say about it really.

*Sighs* It's doing its job. No points lost.

Plot: Flare is going on a philosophical adventure to complete a demonic summoning of the dead ritual that will destroy them all!

*Obnoxious screaming ensues*

I'm ready.

Opening thoughts:

-Correction: "[...]; usually summoning fire was an easy task for her."

-You said "particular" and its adverb all in one sentence.

*Slaps your hand* No! (-2)

-In the next sentence I don't know why you felt the need to add "fire mages" as if the reader doesn't know that already. You already said pyromancer. Yeah, yeah, yeah "not everyone knows what that means," but you already said that in the summary. It wasn't even long. How shitty do you think your readers' memories are?! (-2)

-From my somewhat knowledge in Nerdom, pyromancers are peeps who can tell the future by using fire. Educating the world a day at a time aren't we...

-Any who!

-"Satisfied" isn't necessary when she sets the wood on fire. We know she is. (-1)

-Good for you for indenting. It seems like most people on wattpad never listened to any of their English teachers. I'm judging all of you.

-Anyway, the descriptions of the landscape are excellent. I have a picture in my head and I sort of feel like I'm there. If you include smells, and the sounds it would be superb.

-I'm not one to complain about huge paragraphs but...a paragraph is five or seven sentences. Try not to go over that limit, you can though, but some of these extensive paragraphs can just be a new paragraph. It doesn't make me not want to read per say, but other pussies—I mean readers, might turn away. I'm referencing the particular one where you ramble about the different kind of mages. (-2)