Brutally Honest Reviews™

The Golden Girl :- With The Not So Golden Past

Word Count: 1476

Title: The Golden Girl :- With the not so golden past

Genre: Mystery/Thriller

Summary:

"So I'll come straight to the point. I think someone is trying to kill me." said Naira.

"What!? Who?"I exclaimed.

"That's for you to find out duh." She replied.

"And why should I do that ?" I replied my anger increasing.

"Is a thousand dollars a good reason?"

Nikki has never been an average girl. With her detective skills and the ability to 'sniff the truth' as she says, has kept her busy.

What happens when the suddenly three sisters arrive in her town as the golden trio and the eldest one has a problem. Which could lead to her death .

It up to Nikki to save her and reveal the golden girl's not so golden past.

~UPDATED VERSION~

"Enough of the talk. I'll cut straight to the point. I think someone is trying to kill me." said Naira. "What?! Who?"I exclaimed."That's for you to find out, duh." She replied, rolling her eyes."And why would I do that ?" I replied, my anger increasing."Is a thousand dollars a good reason?"Nikki has never been an average girl. With her detective skills and the ability to 'sniff the truth' as she says, has kept her busy.What happens when the suddenly three mystic sisters arrive in her town as the golden trio, and the eldest one, Naira, offers a case to Nikki. A case which could lead to her death.It up to Nikki to save her and reveal the golden girl's not so golden past.

Status: Ongoing

~

Starting Points: 30

Cover: It's pretty! However, the tilt in the text is unnecessary, in my opinion, and if the text was more intelligible it would look better. Nonetheless, it's a nice looking cover--IF you ignore the plot of this book. Nonetheless, no points lost.

Title: It's a mouth full, which can be a problem, but not too much. Mechanically it has issues too. You're having trouble with capitalization, a colon is used when it isn't needed, and there's a...dash for some unknown reason. This is how your title should look: The Golden Girl With the Not So Golden Past (-1)

-Knowing which words can be capitalized in a title can be confusing. If anyone ever has any trouble with this, I've found a website that does it for you, and also provides tips/info on proper capitalization in titles. There's a link of it in the external link for anyone interested (can only be found on a desktop)!

Summary:

-Wow. This is the greatest summary I have ever read in my life.

-Jokes! Of course I am! Because this is terrible. In every way possible. This is the most incoherent summary I've reviewed so far. Seriously. I don't know why you wouldn't ask for summary help because this...this is an atrocity on all levels. I...think?--there's a plot here. I can smell it, that's for sure. *Stares into the camera*

-Anyway, there's a hint of a story here, but the disjointedness of the summary and the excerpt is worsening my vision. (-10)

Plot: Nikki, a vigilante that fights for justice, is the greatest detective EVER, and combats the villains of Gotham City with vigor and darkness as her ally. However, many know her as...The Dark Knight. *Hans Zimmer falls asleep on his organ*