Brutally Honest Reviews™

Beyond Myth

Word Count: 1633

Title: Beyond Myth

Genre: Sci-Fantasy

Blurb: The Obscured World, a plane just above our own, home to creatures, strange and eldritch, and to mechanics, even stranger. There are people who work to contain it, to limit its influence on the over world so that everyone might maintain their guise of normalcy. There are others who seek to unleash it, free it unto Earth so that known science may be married with obscure mechanics.

Adam Whiden and Jennifer Kennedy, students, and childhood friends. Now, will they choose to ally with those that liberate, those that protect, take a different option entirely, or will they fail miserably, thanks to a giant worm thing with spinning teeth and some red fog that eats atoms?

Status: Ongoing

~

Starting Points: 30

Cover: Loves it! Okay, a bit too much enthusiasm there, but it's still nice...mostly. My only issue with it is that there's two different text on it and they are both ugly. If they're more bold it can catch a readers eyes and make it look less amateur and bland. Nonetheless, it's still cool.

Title: I like it. Two words, and intriguing. Let's get this on.

Summary: Yikes. Um. Okay.

That is...a lot? I'm really doing a shit job with not not giving summary help to people who didn't specifically ask for it, aren't I? I just can't help it. *Sighs*

-This isn't good. Its badness, however, is kind of odd. It's almost as if the summary shouldn't be bad, but it winded up being shit anyways. Like it's quite obvious that the writer here (or whoever did it) is really trying at first, but then something happened--and this is what we are left with. I don't know. I think. I'm hoping.

-Anyway, there are a bunch of comma splices, which is offensive, and the first sentence is disgusting. It isn't even a sentence because of all of these interrupting commas. Also, the use of "eldritch" isn't used properly and it's redundant since it's practically the same word as "strange". Put the thesaurus down, Kathy. Then, everything gets bogged down immediately with too much focus on the setting of the book, which doesn't even accomplish what it's attempting to do--getting the readers interested in this world and caring for the conflict these two words have with each other. I know that fantasy books need exposition to properly world build and what not, but this attempt is so disorganized and muddled I don't even know what to say. These "conflicts" are so vague to a point that I can't even feel the threat because it's so poorly described and presented. It almost tricks you into thinking it's good, which is criminal.

-Moving on, the last paragraph or section (if you will) is such a horrifying experience that I now want to gauge my eyes out. Particularly, with a disease-coated rod, made with steel. Something that reminds me of this summary basically. I have been sitting here in an almost bewildered state for five minutes. I don't know where my tea has gone and I'm frightened. Help.

-This summary is so bad that I think I need to make my own just so you all can understand why it's so wretched. Or I may just be overreacting. I don't care. Here goes:

{The Dark City Place, the final level of ourselves. If Earth looked into a broken mirror, that is.

It's on top of us, Bat People rule here too, they're weird and idiosyncratic, with biotechnology-- even weirder. The capitalist and fear mongers of things and stuff, try to suppress their intellect, just so they can conceal the creeping fear of subordination they are all slaves to and will never run from. There are others who want to unleash it so it can be jailed. But it won't.