Brutally Honest Reviews™

Mine (N)

Word Count: 3110

Title: Mine

Genre: Mystery/Thriller

Blurb:

Kidnappings and missing cases had emerged in a small town, namely, Kingstown. Young women have disappeared left and right. The police has been on a desperate search for the abducted girls and leads to a possible suspect. The people of the town had linked the kidnappings and missing cases for the strong likeness of victims. This may be the worst crime that ever shook the once merry town.

Gabi Dankworth was on her way back from work when a threatening obstacle came her way. She wouldn't let this halt her, anyway. She wasn't perceived to be reckless for nothing.

Wendy Grey is an actor on her break; visiting Kingstown to see her family and friends. One of the first news she hears is an unanticipated discovery.

Status: Completed

~

Starting Points: 30

Cover: Imma be real with you fam, this looks like the run-of-the-mill teen romance drama that's filled with angst. It's a no for me dawg. (-3)

Title: Y'all know how I feel about one-worded titles: they do nothing for me and neither does this one. (-2)

Blurb:

-Excerpt#1: Kidnappings and missing cases had emerged in a small town, namely, Kingstown.

-Excerpt#2: She wouldn't let this halt her, anyway.

-They can't only be bothering me, right? The author needs to reword them.

-So, uh, the way this summary is reading reminds me of late 1990s/early 2000s Disney Channel when they would play promos for their original movies with the narrator-movie guy telling us every single plot point because, understandably, we were all idiots. However, this clearly doesn't work here, well...because this is meant to be the summary for a book. *Leans in* that's not what those were for.

-Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying this thoroughly, but I don't think it's the type of enjoyment the author anticipated as a first impression. It's just that every sentence comes off like it is trying to impress me; no joke; I've reached this conclusion only because the way it pauses for Dramatic Effect after every punctuation.

-The way the two main characters are introduced is, to put it lightly, grotesque. They are literally tacked on at the end because it looks like the author forgot until someone mentioned that they should be added. If that is the case, it shows, if it isn't then I suggest introducing them earlier on instead of yabbering on the "blah blah" fog, "blah blah" disappearances, and the "blah blah" stale tea of this town. That, or interweaving the intro for the MCs and setting could work as well.

-The tone is off in large parts of this because I can't tell if I should be laughing at the melodramatic wording to everything as it could be playing off of itself for...satirical reasons? Or maybe that it's trying to prepare the reader for a Riverdale/13 Reasons Why spoof or a serious attempt at a spinoff of the two? Can't really tell and that's the problem, also, so are the tenses-fix it, please.

-All in all, this summary is a bag full of questionable mess.

(-7)

Plot: Mysterious disappearances. Teens, I think? Somebody probably fucks someone else. Take that in a sexual or murder-y way, I don't care. Anyway, I hope this is set in Chicago for a very specific reason. *Winks*