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phil is running a hand through his hair and tying an apron around his waist when dan enters the kitchen, his shorts hanging low on his hips and his shirt slightly crumpled.

phil's back is towards the younger boy as he clumsily struggles to tie the strings behind his back, dan shakes his head, approaching him and tapping his shoulder lightly.

"um, need help?" he raises his eyebrows slightly at the struggling boy and phil diverts his gaze to the younger boy, taking a moment to appreciate his messy hair and sleepy eyes before nodding softly and turning his back to him.

phil can feel his breath hitch a little as dan stands close behind him, pulling the strings of the apron tightly around his waist, causing phil to back into him, heart racing when he feels dan's hot breath on his neck and his chest touching phil's back.

they are standing so close, and it feels so wrong considering their situation right now but he doesn't protest.

he can feel dan's chapped lips brush slightly against the sensitive skin and although the strings are knotted securely around phil's torso, they stay like that, dan's hands reluctantly travelling to phil's hips, where his fingers grip gently at the curve and phil leans back into his touch, dan's lips peppering soft kisses up and down his neck.

it's kind of surreal, how they go from cuddling to screaming and from awkward silences to this, and the changes literally give them a whiplash, making both of their minds go haywire. it is such a complicated relationship, just like phil told his mother, and even though they both scramble to find solutions to make it right, they both just end up failing, drowning themselves more and more in this destructive relationship and yet both of them refuse to give up on it.

when dan turns phil around and presses him against the kitchen counter, they both know it's wrong. the way dan's fingers twist in his dark hair as their lips touch and the way phil wraps his arms around the younger boy's waist when he lets out a quiet moan, is wrong.

and even though they both are confused as to why this is happening, they just continue. with soft touches and heavy breathing they just continue, trying to reshape what's left of their relationship.

and even though phil wants to push dan away and tell him that they are not right for each other and dan just wants to scream at the older boy and demand answers, they don't stop, dan running his hands over phil's toned chest and phil pulling dan closer and closer with each passing second.

but maybe phil doesn't mind the way they are so wrong for each other and maybe dan does not care if phil is not ready to give answers and that's what matters. and so when when phil flips them over and lifts dan's small frame onto the counter, standing between his legs they just continue.

--

fuck im tired

also abOUT the younow, tell me what time will be most comfortable for y'all and pls mention time zones??

(i promise i'll update a lot on thursday)

(also i have a short story coming up, not really sure about the idea but i hope you'll like it)

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