Dauntless life (sequel to Tris Pedrad)

Chapter 22

"Claire he hurt you badly. How else do you expect me to react when I see the boy who broke my daughters heart?" Dad says and I hair stare at him for a second.

"Like an adult dad. I want you to treat him with respect even if he does t deserve it ok? I don't care what he's done I'm over it. Just let him go dad. You aren't this kind of person," I say and my dad's arm fall to his side and Blake's hand rests on his throat. "I'd like to talk to him alone dad."

"Alright," he whispers and kisses my head before walking out of the room and shutting the door.

"I'm sorry for what my dad did," I tell him.

"It's fine. Just what protective fathers don't their daughters ex right?" He jokes with a chuckle. I just look at him and run a hand through my hair and bite my lip. "Why are you so nervous Claire?"

"I-I'm not," I stutter.

"You always mess with your hair and bite your lip when you are. But why are you?"

"Hmm I don't know. Maybe because my ex-boyfriend is in my room, and broke, no shattered my heart into a million pieces for a reason I don't know!" I snap and place my arms at my side, with my fist clenched.

"Claire-" he starts but I cut him off.

"No Blake! We were dating for three years! It even started when we were young and it lasted that long! I'm just trying to figure out what I could've possible done wrong to ruin the relationship! In initiation I would always train for hours on end because I need to get my mind off you! I blame myself each and everyday for ruining the relationship we had! Each time I do something I always end up with a thought of you. Like each time I go to that stupid cafe to get coffee I think of your stupid face! Each time I see a purple dress, I think of the one you chose for me! Every single time I see a couple I think of what she used to have!" My voice breaks at the end. "I wanted to fix it, but I didn't know how. I wanted to fix it so bad! Because that's what people do when they're in love right? They always try to find a way back to the one they love. I can now tell everyone it doesn't work that way. If you love someone, you have to do what the old saying says. If you love something, let it go."

"Claire you did nothing wrong I swear. You have to know I did it for a reason," he says and I scoff.

"If it's your fault then you could've said something. At least one of the times I called you or tried to talk to you. My life was terrible after you broke up with me. I felt like falling apart, but I couldn't, because I had initation to get through. I had to deal with a heartbreak and he only way I was able to pass initiation was with imaging everything I punch or kicked was myself. Because I thought everything was my fault for breaking up." I cry and slide down the door. "My life has been absolute hell for this past year. I didn't know life could be so bad, but I chose Dauntless, so I guess I get a freaking Dauntless life. And this is how it is. Shitty."

"Claire," he whispers and I bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs.

"Everything about this life is shitty. I hate it so much, but I keep a smile on my face for my mom, dad, brothers, uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, friends, and for you. So you think I'm not effected by it but I am! So fucking much!" I bury my face in my knees and feel tears.

"I never wanted you to be in this much pain Claire. I thought that it was for the best, because I'm a terrible person and you deserve so much better than me. I'm a disgusting human and I'm not happy with the choices I've made," he says and awaits so he's at my level.

"The only choice that you made that was terrible was breaking up with me, cause it hurt so bad," I whisper. "I just wish you would've told me why you did it."

"You wanna know why? Because I cheated on you Claire that's why. I was at one of Oliver's stupid parties and decided to have a relaxing night. I had way to much to drink, and don't even remember anything past the first hour of the party. The next morning I found myself next to Ellie naked. So I assumed what had happened. The next month is when initiation started for you, and it was haunting me terribly. I mean why wouldn't it? And the second day of initiation Ellie came to me and told me she was pregnant. I couldn't put that all on you from a choice I made that wasn't a good one," he tells me and tears are flowing down my cheeks.

"You were drunk. That happens to a lot of people here. Why didn't you just tell me?" I whisper.

"I just couldn't bring myself to tell you what I did," he says and I look down again. "She had a boy. His name is Benjamin."

I freeze and look up at him. Benjamin. Out of all the freaking names in the world he chose Benjamin. I told him that was my favorite name years ago, and he goes and names his son that! "Benjamin," I whisper.

"Benjamin Dylan Rose."

"You named your child after names I chose?" I question and he nods.

"I have no clue why. I just did," he says and I stand up.

"Blake I think it's best if you go now," I whisper and open them door.

He stands up as well and clears his throat. "Ya. Um I'll see you around Claire. If like for you to meet Benji soon if that's ok."

"Maybe," I whisper. He nods and leaves. I go over to my bed and face plant on to it. I bury my face in my pillow and lay there.

"I'm sorry munchkin," dad whispers as he rubs my back I turn my head so I can see him.

"Da he has a kid. He broke up with me because he cheated on me when he was drunk. He and a son. His names Benjamin Dylan Rose, those are the names I said I liked. Dad why would he do that?" I cry.

"He still cares about you. He just doesn't think he is good for you now. He doesn't want to hurt you again," dad says and I sit up.

I bury my face in his shoulder and cry. "Dad this is to much for me right now. I want to forget him because of all this stupid pain."

"Everything will end up the way it's supposed to. Just remember I'll always be here for you even when the light that is directing you burns out ok? I love you Claire," Tobias says and I wrap my arms around his torso.

"I love you too dad."