Chapter 66

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I woke up at 6am, tried to wake Ezra up to which I got the middle finger as thanks – made coffee and drank it, washed my teeth, got dressed and hurried out the door. I went for a jog, showered and then met up with Jake and I told him about Harry's and I's 'fight'? – if I could even call it that, considering we barely said anything to one another. Not speaking to Harry every day was actually killing me, I know...pathetic, but he has consumed me whole. Fuck, even when we argue I miss him. I miss his smile, his laugh and his stupid jokes. Can't he just text a gal back, damn is that so hard?

Jake, Ezra's friend has some of his classes with me, so we'd often spend our free time between lectures studying together in the library. Today was one of those days. We joked about how Ezra would definitely be late to her classes this morning considering she had dismissed me from waking her up.

"Shit, I really can't focus today," Jake said.

"Listen, I know it's gotta be hard to focus when I'm around but like settle down, yeah?" I joked.

"Oh god, fuck off please," he laughed quietly.

I shrugged, "It's fine, I understand, really,"

"Hey, let's make a bet..." he whispered.

I disagreed, "Oh no." That never ends right, now does it?

"No the good kind, hm, let's say we each study a topic and we ask each other questions and then whoever gets the most right wins," he explained.

Studying to win – whoa this guy is something else.

"Wins what?" I was intrigued at the prospect of winning something.

"Privileges to calling the other their inferior,"

"I'm in and by the way, you are so going to lose!" I winked,

"Don't think I can lose with you around,"

I blushed and wait a minute...Shit. Shit. No, you have a boyfriend dummy. A boyfriend who hates your guts at the moment. A boyfriend who is ignoring you every call. Do you even have a 'boyfriend'?

"SHUT UP!" did I just say that out loud?

Everyone in the library glares with disdain. Oops.

"What?"

"Oh erm, I thought I heard a noise and I really can't focus with um...noises," I fumbled for a lie. Shitty excuse considering we were in the library and the only noise heard was me yelling at myself. How embarrassing! Well at least now I won't have to worry about him liking me.

"You're really cute when you lie," he laughed as he shook his head at my stupidity no doubt. Fuck, why am I so damn cute? All throughout our 'studying' session, he kept glancing up at me, I could tell as it wasn't so subtle but also because I was also attempting to steal glances at him. What the hell have I got myself into?

++

So, Jake won, not that it matters because he so cheated. Jake left after 3 hours to go to the gym, I decided I'd eat later and just finish my essay on Impeachment. However, I fell pretty far down the wormhole of endless thoughts attempting to answer the question of 'Do I like Jake or am I just missing Harry?' way before I could even type 10 words. I shut my laptop and packed my things and went for a little walk before attempting to call Harry again. I didn't like this – me, seemingly, begging for attention I don't even know I want anymore. Begging really isn't my style, I don't beg, ever. Yet here I was – calling someone who'd made it unequivocally clear he did not intend to speak to me. I knew this was not like Harry at all, but I was fucking pissed at him, nonetheless.

"Fuck it," I said to myself. I grabbed Ezra's car keys and decided to drive to my Harry's house and deal with our bullshit.

++

As soon as I arrived at Harry's house I knocked on the front door. To my amazement he opened - although I was most definitely pissed at him, that did not stop me from demolishing his face with kisses. His lips brush mine passionately. I want to push him off of me before I lose myself but I can't seem to...react. I can no longer think straight, he slams me against the wall and I am melting. "Fuck, Skai" he whispers slowly, biting his lip. I smile, my heart fluttering at his voice as I cup his face in my hands and lean in for another kiss. His hands moved from my waist to my neck, sloppily kissing me harder. When he drew back to take a breath, he rested his forehead against mine and placed a peck on my lips.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," His voice faltered as he uttered the words. It was as if the words had escaped him, as if they were just waiting to come out but he changed his mind right before he was about to utter them but the word sprung a life of their own and decided to come out anyway. I felt like I was betraying my gender to feel validated my him. Mostly because I shouldn't ever let a man, validate me - I validate msyelf. He nuzzled my neck with tiny little kisses. His lips were warm, and it felt like actual heaven. SKYLAR, YOU ARE MAD. Oh shit, right.

"Harry, fuck off,"

"I don't think you want that," he said, giving me a hickey, I couldn't help but moan. "I see I was right," he said stopping and smirking at me.

"No seriously, you were being an actual dick," I yelled.

"Hey, sh, let's talk in the kitchen," he led the way and I followed him.

He started spewing some bullshit of me cheating on him and I instantly lost it hurling all kind of insults at him for even accusing me of such a thing. It was safe to say I was no longer turned on. He actually called me a whore yet was the one that jumped to conclusions? Ha! He pulled out a bottle of whisky and poured me some.

"Maybe drinking will make you tell the truth,"

"Are you kidding me?" I yelled, crossing my arms. He put the bottle to his lips and drank quite a bit. "Harry, what the fuck has gotten into you?"

"Drink, Skai! Unless you're scared of something slipping,"

It was true, I often told the truth when I was drunk but I do that when I am sober as well so I really did not get the point. I thought I'd humour him.

"Fine, I've nothing to hide," I drank the glass he poured me. "I slept with Jake and Ron and Ezra! OMG! Did I just admit that?" I asked sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.

"Have some more," he poured me more, he was getting drunk. He drank more from the bottle. I decided to sit at the head of the table and wait for him to sober up. "Drink now!" he yelled. Oh no, you don't. I felt the intensity of his tone and I didn't know whether it was the drinking or what but no one speaks to me like that.

"Harry, if you think you can tell me what to d-" I began.

He slammed his hand on the table and yelled, "I fucking can!"

"That's it, I'm done - you're done, we're done! I'M LEAVING!" I yelled.

"NO, YOU'RE NOT," he yelled right back. I was about to get up from the table when he pushed the table against me, forcing me to fall along with the chair as my back touched the wall, then the floor. I couldn't fucking believe it. I felt a gush of pain in my back and chest but nothing stung as bad as my heart in that moment. My head was pounding and I felt I could break into pieces knowing that he was willing to hurt me.

"The t-table, I-"

I could barely see where I was going what with all the tears I ran away with purpose. He grabbed my arm and I flinched.

"D-don't," I begged as a tear fell on his hand, I covered my face with my hands thinking he might do something again. "Please, let me go," I whispered, my voice breaking at each word.

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