Darkiplier Smuts

Humanize Me Pt. 3

DARK

The next morning I woke up to birds and the sound of Mark recording another video. My arm was aching and so was my back. No more needles and no more sleeping on the couch. I went outside and Mark joined me. I grabbed a cigarette and smoked it. Mark gave me a dirty look. "Demons don't get cancer, Mark...and they taste good, ok?" Mark just looked the other direction. "So...after you put a shirt on, how about we go look for that chick? She usually walks her dog around this time." Put a shirt on and risk that babe not seeing my ripped body. Never.  "I don't need a shirt. She doesn't want me in a shirt anyway." Mark chuckled. "You are so arrogant and vain." I knew that. "It took you up until now for you to figure that out? I thought you were smart." Mark crossed his arms. "You know, you can be a real jerk sometimes." "Sometimes? Looks like someone forgot I'm a demon. Again." "You're supposed to be my friend, Dark, come on, lighten up." "Ew, don't talk about light. I hate bright colors, I hate this eternal fucking sunshine...I'm not a fan of light." "What about lightening?" "Lightening is violent and unpredictable...and it comes from dark clouds. I love it." "Actually lightening comes from-" "Stuff it, Mark. You know what I meant." I stood with my arms crossed, looking for this woman. Like I said, I hate waiting. "Just be patient, Dark. She'll be along soon I'm sure." "Soon isn't good enough for this demon. He'd kinda like to get laid now." "Dark, you're about as charming as a corpse." I started at Mark. "And yet-for whatever reason I've been able to fuck you, and pretty much all of your female friends. Better back up the trolley, Mark, you have no grounds to insult me." Mark sneered at me. "Hey, here she comes. Let's see your magic." I stepped off the porch with confidence and jumped the fence. "Hi." I said, putting a hand behind my head. "Hi." she said, looking at me. "What's your name?" I asked. "Jennifer, and before you go any further I'm married and I'm not carrying money." She left me with my mouth hanging open. I heard Mark laughing in the background. I jumped the fence again and brushed by him, heading straight to bed. "Dark come on!" Mark called after me. I tossed a glance over my shoulder. "Nah, I'd rather not." I said. "Dude, seriously, what happened out there?" "Alright, even I, the smoothest demon there ever was can't win every battle. She's married...and she thought I was going to rob her." Mark made a face. "Sorry to hear that, but don't take it personally...go out and meet a girl. Go find (y/n) she knows a lot of women." "(Y/N), huh?" I said. I had never thought to ask her about anything. "Here's my phone, call her." I selected her number from the contacts menu. "Hello?" Ah. She answered. "Hi." "Hi...Mark?" "Noo...Dark." "Oh, hey! Hows your thing going?" "Thing?" "Yeah...your life?" "Uh...so far so good...listen, do you think we could meet up later? Are you working?" "No...I have today off. Sure...I mean if you're ready I could be around in about fifteen minutes." "Sounds good. See you soon." I handed Mark his phone back. "She's coming around in about fifteen minutes." "That's great, but why are you blushing so much?" I hadn't noticed. "I'm...what?" "Your face is totally flushed right now, dude." Mark gave me the awkward eye. "Are you...you know, attracted to (y/n)?" I denied it feverishly. "She's too close of a friend!" I insisted. Mark looked entirely skeptical. "Sure. Sure she is." he laughed. "You...just go away. You're the jerk here, not me." Mark rushed up the stairs. "I'm telling you, you are HOT for her. Just go with it. Worst case scenario? You don't get laid." I cringed at the thought. I figured I'd better take a shower and get ready for (y/n). When I got out she was in the house talking to Mark. She saw me and her eyes instantly locked onto my hair. "Well aren't the two of you just adorable."  She said, mockingly. I rolled my eyes at her. "You could pass for brothers." "We kinda are in some convoluted fucked up way." I said. "But I'm the more attractive brother for sure." (Y/N) laughed. Mark scowled. "Says the dude with silver eyes, bleached out skin, and and black bodily fluids." "Hey, I'm more muscular, thinner, I get laid more...and I'm not even a human...clearly I'm just better off. Aesthetically especially." "Whatever you say." "Oh you two stop it. You're both handsome." She was looking at me when she said that. Uh huh, I knew it. I am better looking. "So what did you wanna do today?" (y/n) asked. Mark pretended to cough as he clearly said you. I know she heard it. Her face got all red, like human faces do sometimes. I pretended I missed out on the conversation. "Wanna go...swim?" "I didn't bring my bathing suit, hon. I don't think I can." I snapped my fingers. "Ta-da, I hope you like black." I said, handing her a black bathing suit. "Of course I do. It's slimming." "Yeah, that's why Dark is always wearing black...he's fat." For the second time that day, someone left me with my mouth hanging open. "Mark, he's anything but. In fact, I'd venture to say he's a bit too skinny." Now instead of staring open mouthed at Mark, I was staring open mouthed at (y/n). "Oh, gosh, Dark don't take it that way. Like I said you are handsome." I pouted. "Suuure...and according to Mark, fat, and according to you, anorexic looking. Fantastic." I could tell (y/n) was feeling guilty. "Hey, come on I was joking (y/n), I'm perfectly comfortable in my skin. Come on, go change, let's swim." (Y/N) went to change and I snapped my fingers and my regular shorts were changed into swim trunks. Black of course. "You have a pass to get me back anytime you want, Dark." Mark said, sympathy in his voice. "I was just trying to impress (y/n)...I didn't mean any of what I said." I knew that. "I'll get you back, alright." I said. I snapped my fingers, and out popped the scariest mannequin the demon world had to offer. "Follow him." I said, pointing to Mark. Mark's eyes grew very wide, and he took off in the opposite direction. "Now don't hurt him, he's my friend...he just needs a good scaring." The mannequin nodded and pursued Mark. That should keep him occupied for awhile.  I thought. I waited for (y/n) and god did she look amazing. "It fits!" she said, giggling. In all the right places. I thought. "Dark? Hello?" I hadn't even realized I was staring at her boobs...probably drooling a little bit. I snapped out of it. (Y/N) looked a bit confused. "Well don't just stand there, let's hit the pool." I urged (y/n) to jump on my back and I carried her piggyback style to the pool where I proceeded to dump her in the water. She was fast though. She outwitted my demon instincts and grabbed me by my ankle, pulling me in right after her. I came up for air seeing only black and red streaks. I have to cut this hair, it's getting out of hand. (Y/N) brushed my hair out of my eyes and looked deep into them. "Your eyes are so pretty." she said. "Humans don't have silver eyes...I thought demons had red eyes..." "Some do. I don't. I'm a humanoid demon...I'm a little different." "Well they are pretty." she said, cupping my face with one hand. I wasn't the only one with pretty eyes. (Y/N) has these big (e/c) eyes with thick eyeliner around them. I've always liked them. Hell I always will. "(Y/N)...there's something I want to give you." She waited patiently. I kissed her deeply. Oh boy. I thought. She is gonna be mad.