Darkiplier Smuts

No! (Dark x Reader)

Dark has been acting way more sarcastic and cynical lately. He's a demon, so it's irrational to expect him to be a happy go lucky guy, but he's been a huge dick lately. Mark and I are fed up. He has pranked us so many times this week alone we can't stand it anymore. The problem is things that scare us don't scare him...plus his keen senses usually keep him well aware of where we are and what we're up to. The only thing I knew Dark was afraid of that I knew were cockroaches. I recall hearing that somewhere. With that in mind, I purchased a hundred Madagascar hissing cockroaches from my local pet store. I showed Mark. "Those things are nasty. I don't want them all over my house (y/n)." "Don't worry, I'm gonna get him at my house." I said. "Just have him come over tonight...say 8?" Mark gave a nod. "You need to make sure you get this whole thing on video so I can hold it over his head for as long as I need to." "Oooh I will. Believe me, something like that needs to be on video...perhaps even on YouTube." "Maybe. Depends on how much of an ass he wants to be." We both laughed. I was moments away from sweet revenge.

I figured the best way to douse Dark in cockroaches would be to have him take a seat on the couch. I was giddy just waiting for the opportunity to freak him out. I'd never actually seen him be afraid of anything. I just hoped that what I had heard was true and he really was afraid of roaches.

Dark pulled up at a bit after 8. Everything was all in position. He knocked on the door and I answered it to see the typical Dark. Cigarette in mouth, nonchalant and somewhat jaded expression and a cocky stance. There was something about his almost split personality that I found immensely attractive. For a minute I contemplated dumping roaches on him. He was one cynical, sarcastic,lustful,self-absorbed, uppity demon, but he had his soft side too. He'd do about anything for me and he'd do literally anything for Mark. I decided to do it anyway. I figured he'd get over it. "Hi, Dark." "You're acting strangely," he said flippantly. "What do you mean?" "You're acting strangely. That was the sweetest hello I've ever heard. Odd." I invited Dark in. "I'm just in a good mood." Dark was skeptical. "If you say so, girl." he said. "Come on, I'm gonna watch a movie." Dark sat on the couch. I turned on my camera, aimed it at the couch. I giggled to myself as I got the shoebox full of cockroaches and approached him from behind. When I was right over his head I turned the box over and it rained cockroaches. I tugged the back of his shirt and dumped roaches down his shirt too. Dark furiously scratched at his back. "What did you dump down my shirt? It itches!" That's about when he saw a cockroach on his lap. He screamed and bolted off the couch. I laughed hysterically. "What the fuck (y/n)?!" he said, ripping his shirt off. All of the roaches scattered. Dark hissed and shot beams of black energy out of his hands, effectively vaporizing roaches. He climbed onto my coffee table and hugged his knees. I laughed hysterically. "You are SO not above being pranked Dark." I told him. He glared at me, pure fear echoing throughout his eyes. "Bitch." he said. "I've gotta take a shower. I feel so dirty." Dark stripped naked and tossed all of his clothes into a pile and vaporized them, too. He shuddered. He levitated over the floor, too afraid to walk on it, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. "I am going to murder you in your sleep tonight." he said, pointing at me. I just laughed some more and removed the SD card from my camera. I plugged it into my computer and emailed Mark the video. My phone buzzed.

Mark: Holy shit I'm dead. I've never seen someone freak out that much

Me: Right? He was so scared

Mark: Definitely saving that one. I might even upload it.

Me: Could be funny

Mark: Where is he now?

Me: Showering. He flipped out and vaporized his clothes...said he felt too dirty lmao

Mark: FUCKING LOL

Me: I know right? That was so satisfying. I didn't even have to do much

Mark: Are there any cockroaches left or did he stomp them all?

Me: There's one by my foot. Why?

Mark: Put it in the shower!

I looked at my phone, laughing. Mark definitely wasn't holding anything back. I gingerly picked up the cockroach and walked it into my bathroom. I crept over to the shower and dropped it in. Dark screamed bloody murder. "Fucking die in a fire, (y/n)!" he said, scrambling to get out of the shower. He dashed out of the bathroom and down the hall into the living room. I smirked. "That's what you get for being such an ass." I said, cupping his face. "Me? An ass? Impossible. I was merely being myself." "I know. You're an ass." Dark's skin was covered in goosebumps. He shivered a bit. "Cold?" I laughed. "Yeah a bit." he said, sharply, heading back to the shower. I laughed as I mopped up the trail of water he left. I came to the bathroom and realized that he didn't bother closing the door or pulling the curtain. I watched the water streak down his toned body. He ran his fingers through his hair. "I know you're there." he said, continuing to shower. "Well that's your problem. You didn't pull the curtain...or close the door." "And?" "Well...it's hard NOT to see you." "I know." I furrowed my brow. "Okay then." "Come here (y/n)." I stepped into the bathroom. "No, I mean get in here." I looked at him, puzzled. I stripped and stepped into the shower. "That was pretty good (y/n). I gotta hand it to you. I've never been scared in my life until then. You got me. Now let me get you." He put his hands around my waist and kissed me. He bit my neck and left a hickey. I grabbed his ass and dug my nails in, making sure he felt it. "Rough one, huh?" he said. He smacked my ass hard. I gasped. He raised an eyebrow. "Continue?" he asked. I nodded, dragging my nails down his back. I felt goosebumps forming underneath that warm water. Dark pinned me up against the wall. He looked so sexy with the water dripping from his hair. He turned me around. I put my hands as far up as I could muster. He fondled both of my breasts from behind, moaning and muttering sweet nothings the whole time. He slowly entered me. "Yeah..."he moaned, starting slowly. I inhaled sharply.  I hadn't been with someone as big as him. He slowly traced his hands down my frame until they came to rest on my hips. He squeezed my hip bones and I felt weak in the knees. He slowly bucked his hips into me, gradually picking up the pace at my request. "Are you ever gonna scare me again?" he asked, pulling my head back by my hair. "No!" I moaned. "Damn right you're not." he said, ramming into me. "You're so bad (y/n)." he gasped, spilling into me. He flicked my clit until I released onto him. I turned around, he looked at me like he was holding a grudge against me, and rinsed off. "Try that shit again (y/n) and I won't be so nice." he said casually. My legs were like jell-o. "I..." "Don't start. You heard me." I just watched him snap his fingers an produce a new outfit. He pulled his hood over his face, covering everything from the tip of his nose down. Before he left, he cracked a little smile. "I had fun. But watch your back."