Lost In Stereo {Sequel To LINLYAA}

Chapter Ten-They're Mine

•T E L L I E•

My heart was pounding in my chest as I sat on the lounge holding tightly on to my sleeves. I had no idea what to expect. The moment I saw dad holding my blades I was frozen. There's no way he could've found them. No absolute way.

But obviously there was. Otherwise they wouldn't be on the coffee table in front of me.

"I'm waiting." Dad snapped. I didn't even know where in the room he was, all I was concentrating on were me and my blades and how to change the subject. "Cristell Jayde. Don't make me repeat myself again."

I gulped, blurting out the first thing I could.

"Y-Y-You never gave me my birthday presents..." I muttered still looking at the blades.

"Cut the crap and talk about these." Dad hissed. "I want to know what they were doing in your room, scattered all over the place and hidden underneath stuff!"

"I..."

"Are you cutting? 'Cause that is the only thing that I can think you're doing with these."

I bit my lip and stared down at my hands. This can't be happening. This just can't be happening...

"Cristell, Answer me!"

I drew my knees up to my chest and buried my head in them. This just can't be happening...

"Are you?"

I slowly looked up from my knees, tears swelling in my eyes. The answers to everything he wanted to know was under the sleeves of my sweat shirt.

"Show me your wrist." He demanded and all I did was shake my head. "Don't shake your head at me Cristell. I'm not asking you a question or anything, I'm telling you what to do. So pull up your sleeves right now." I shook my head again. "Don't make me say it again!"

Fear flooded through me, and all i could do was blink tears away, before caving. I looked at my arm, slowly pulling up my both sleeves so my scared wrist was revealed. Everything was out. Dad knew. Eleanor was going to find out. Chances are everyone would find out. It was a terrible thought. I didn't want all the sympathy or the lectures or the 'we love you' speeches. I wanted bloody razors in my wrist. The sooner this was over the sooner I could cut. I held my wrist out to him, watching as his expression changed.

"Fuck..." Dad muttered. "What were you thinking?"

That I deserved every single cut on my body.

"They could be infected, you could've cut a vein, you could've died of blood loss, you could've done god knows what to yourself" He continued. "Did you think of any of this? Did you?"

"I...I..." I stuttered but no words could come out. I couldn't tell if dad was pissed off and about to shout at me, or about to break down or something. And that scared me more than anything.

"You didn't did you?" He snapped. I hung my head, fear filling me head to toe. "What happened Tells? What could possibly convince you that this is alright?"

"I can do what I want to myself..."

"No you can't! This isn't a fucking joke! What did you just wake up one morning and decide you were going to start sawing into your wrist?"

"C-c-can I g-go up sta-airs?" I mumbled trying to hold back tears.

"No! You can't! This discussion isn't over and won't be until I say! So don't sit there crying like you want me to let you bloody watch movies or some shit! This isn't-"

I got up from the lounge stalking towards the doorway. I can't take this. Being yelled at for something I did to myself. It's pathetic. There's only one person being hurt by this; me and I enjoyed it.