Lost In Stereo {Sequel To LINLYAA}

Chapter Thirty Nine-Darlin

"Whether you believe in fairytales or not, every girls a princess to somebody." - Allstar Weekend

T E L L I E

I bit my lip, tears forming in my eyes as dad dragged me by my bicep into a room. He wasn't calm or anything how he was the other time he walked in on me cutting. No... He looked pissed, like if I said the wrong thing he'd end up slapping me in the face or something.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He hissed releasing my bicep. "Do you want to get better?"

My stomach churned at his words. 'Get better.' he made it sound like I had some sort of illness or something.

"What the fuck was that Cristell? Are you-"

"You don't get it." I cut in. "I need-"

"The only thing you need is help. This can't go on anymore. You can't keep pulling that kind of stuff!"

"Why not?"

"Do you want to die?" He shouted. "'Cause that's all you are doing. You're killing yourself! You can do it that way but in the end you'll either cut to far or fucking die of blood loss! Is that what you want?"

By now I already had tears streaming down my cheeks and my legs were trembling in fear. I knew what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him yes, I did want to die. And if it wasn't for Zach I probably would've already drunk bleach or something.

"I-I'm sorry..." I stuttered, dads face twisting with anger.

"For gods sake Tellie just drop that!" He hissed.

"You've never been through this you don't know what it's like!" I shot back. "All you do is act like I'm not even there and when I do something you just yell at me in stead of asking me why I did it. You always expect me to worship you or something and you've never given a damn about me."

"Are you really trying this on me darlin'?"

"Y-Yes."

"I don't give a shit about what crap you're saying Cristell. If you're not going to say what happened out there you may as well go to bed now."

"I tried to cut. What's it look like?" I hissed.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that Cristell Jayde." He snapped. "Just shut up if you're not gonna tell me."

"I'm sorry I tried-"

"Shut it now."

"I-"

"No. Shut up. You don't get to talk right now. I don't want pitiful excuses, I want you to tell me what the fuck is so bad that makes you freaking go out of the way to try and cut yourself!"

A million things raced through my mind. Every little reason I could think of. Everything I hated about myself. Every rude comment Tayla had made. Every little post on Instagram and Twitter about me. Every day in the first grade 'til high school. There was a million things I could've said. But instead I just looked from my feet to my father. Biting my lip as he stared at me as if waiting for me to say something. And then I said it.

"You."

Everyone was quiet, and the only sound I could hear was the breathing of the people around me. Everyone was in dark clothes and stood like statues staring in front. The air was freezing, and it looked like a full scene from a movie or something. Nobody was looking at me as I walked down the steps. It was as if they didn't hear the sound of my converse on the tiles.

"Max?" I whispered. I walked towards him standing in the empty space between him and Chaim. "Max what's happening?"

Max didn't respond. He just stood, looking at the front, briskly straightening out his tux. Thats when I noticed it, the pale flowers, the dull atmosphere. It was a funeral, but in the weirdest of places. It was like a basement, like whoever had died had meant nothing to the people who planned this.