Chapter 62

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After another hour on the beach, we head back to the hotel to get some diner. We order in room service, and after a filling dinner of steak, icecream, and chocolate cake, I lay sprawled out on the couch with my head in Jace's lap.

I threw on one of his t-shirts over my swimsuit, but Jace is still just in his swim trunks, leaving his chest bare.

"Why don't you ever get tattoos on your arms?" I ask, running a hand up his bicep.

He watches me touch him as he says, "Tattoos aren't exactly looked at as... professional, so I had to be careful as to where I got them when I was first starting up my company."

"Oh." Makes sense.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks.

"Anything."

"You promise you won't get mad?"

I look up at him to see his expression, but his face remains blank, giving nothing away. "Why would I get mad?" And then it hits me. "If this is about moving in..." I trail off, praying he won't ask me to move in with him again because if he does, I can't help but think I would give in this time. The past couple weeks with him have been amazing, and lately I keep thinking about it more and more.

He shakes his head. "I already told you I wouldn't ask again-"

"I know, but-" The words, I want you to, die in my throat when he places his hand over my mouth.

"I can take a hint, Jasmine." I frown and can't seem to look him in the eyes.

"What I wanted to ask was," he says, moving his hand off my mouth, "what happened with you and Tobias?" I try not to flinch from his name coming out of Jace's mouth.

Burying my head into his chest, I say, "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Please," he urges.

"I thought he was the one, and he wasn't. That's all you need to know."

He coaxes my head back and forces me to look at him. "Please, give me this. It has been driving me crazy thinking of all the possible things he could have done to you."

I can only imagine what's going through his head. "It's not what you're thinking," I assure him.

"Then what?"

Taking a deep breath, I plan on only talking about it breifly, but once I start talking, the words just keep coming. "I met him my freshman year of college at a party. He was charming, intelligent, funny, and pretty much everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend. I've never had a serious boyfriend before him, so when he asked, two almost three months later, for me to move in with him, I said yes-"

"You said yes?" Jace's voice is harsh and full of disapproval. "You were what? 18? What were you thinking?"

I push off his lap. "I was thinking I was in love with him and he was in love with me," I snap.

His eyes flash and his voice softens. "I'm sorry. Continue," he says, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulls me against his side.

I curl my legs into his lap and trace his rose tattoo as I continue, pretending his little outburst didn't happen. "As soon as I moved in with him, things changed. He suddenly wasn't as charming as I remembered and he started distancing us from our friends. He went out more and came back almost every night completely wasted, but I still loved him, so I stayed with him thinking this was just a phase and he would go back to the sweet guy I fell in love with."

"But he didn't. A year went by and it was the same old stuff, except now I don't have any friends besides Angela, but then she transfered to NYU, and everything went downhill from there. I could smell the weed as soon as he stepped into our little apartment, and that's when I had enough. I told him I was going to leave him if he didn't clean up his act, and he did for a little while, but that only lasted so long before he was back to his old self, only this time it was worse." So much worse.

Jace gives me a little squeeze, and it helps me continue. "He wouldn't just stumble into the bedroom and pass out, he would get angry." My voice cracks and for the first time I notice Jace's grip around me is so tight, it's almost painful, but it's the only thing keeping me together.

"He could home yelling and screaming. He would tell me over and over that I wasn't good enough for him, that I didn't deserve someone like him, that I was the reason he was like this, and for a while I believed him; I thought it was my fault."

"Oh, baby," Jace says, pulling me against his front and lets me bury my tear soaked face into his chest. "It wasn't your fault. He was a drunk," he says running a soothing hand through my hair; my arms tighten around his waist. "He never... never touched you, did he?" I can hear the tightness in his voice as he tries to remain calm.

I shake my head. "Only once," I admit. I've never told anyone this; even after we broke up, I still protected him.

Jace's entire body goes completely still underneath mine; I can feel his coldness and hatred rolling off in waves. "What did he do?" He speaks through his teeth.

"He got fired from his job, and he blamed it on me. He was throwing stuff around, breaking stuff in the apartment; I told him to stop and h-he... lost it."

Jace rubs circles on my back, but I know it's more for himself; like by touching me, it grounds him and keeps him from doing anything stupid or rash.

"After it happened, it opened his eyes and he stopped drinking so much, but something changed between us. For a while the only reason I stayed with him is because he kept hinting at marriage. I thought if we got married everything would go back to the way it was when we first met. One night he said he had a suprise for me, and I thought he was going to propose. I followed him to a party, but I couldn't find him anywhere until I heard them."

"Jesus," Jace mumbles and hugs me closer.

"I saw him with her, Jace." The tears start again, and I can barely finish. "That night, I packed my shit and got on the first flight to New York. I took a year break from college and applied for NYU."

There's a tense moment of silence before Jace says, "I'm sorry."

"Don't say that. It was my fault for staying with him so long-"

"It wasn't your fault, he used your innocence against you."

I don't know what to say to that, and if I'm being honest, telling him about Tobias has completely drained me, but it also lifted the heavy weight sitting on my chest.

"Let's go to bed, I know you are exhausted."

I nod in agreement, and he stands up with my body wrapped around him like a vise. He doesn't even change out of his swim trunks, instead he pulls back the sheets and lays down bringing me with him. Reaching up, he turns off the lights and tangles his legs with mine.

"You know this doesn't change anything," he says.

"What doesn't?" I ask sleepily, my eyes already closed.

"Him being here." I'm guessing he means here as in New York City.

"I know," I tell him, but I don't know if I actually mean it.

He pulls me farther on top of him and tucks my head under his chin. "He's the past, and I'm..."

"You're what?" I ask.

"And I can't wait until you see that."

Me too.
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