Losing Kim Taehyung

nine

Run, run, run again
It's okay to fall
Run, run, run again
It's okay to get hurt

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It was a Friday morning, and the sun shone brightly. It wasn't too hot, but just the perfect weather to take a walk in a park.

I tapped my fingers on my lap, still listening to the songs Taehyung gave me. As soon as I got home last night from the restaurant with mom, I excitedly copied all the songs to my phone and repeatedly listen to it until I fell asleep. The song I was listening was upbeat— I could feel each beat against my ear, but it has a melancholic meaning beyond each word.

I run, run, run
I can't stop
Run, run, run again
I can't help it
This is all I can do anyway
All I know is how to love you

I pulled my earphones from my ears when I looked outside, and saw that we reached the school.

"Bye, mom." I told her, then kissed her on the cheek, like I always do every morning before we part ways.

"Bye, baby." She said, briefly caressing my cheek. "I'll be back by Sunday morning, okay? I already called Sunhae, and told her you'd be spending the nights with them." Sunhae is Sungjae's mom and my mom's bestfriend. My mom has to go to an important two-day seminar, and she wanted me stay there for two nights like when we were kids. I already told her multiple times that I'd be fine all by myself alone at home, but she doesn't seem to be pleased about it. "Sunhae wanted to see you. Come on, baby." She begged, and I just nodded bitterly so she would stop. She smiled brightly, and I already got out of the car. She waved her hand at me, and I only smiled, watching her drove away.

Standing in front of the gates, I eyed a suspicious guy from afar once my mom's car disappeared from my sight. I narrowed my eyes at him. He looked like he was waiting for someone inside the school to cause trouble with. He was wearing an all black uniform (probably from a public school) that really complimented his pale skin, and even a natural dark-colored hair that really suited him. He was a bit short, but looked intimidating. Our gazes met, and he got that gaze that seems like threatening someone. I lowkey rolled my eyes, ignoring the suspicious boy and went inside the school.

Walking along the hallway, I could already feel a smile creeping into my face. I'll see Taehyung again. I thought. I'll see his smile and hear his laughter again. The sounds of his laughter will always be my most favorite thing in the world.

Making my way inside the classroom, I roamed my eyes to look for Kim Taehyung whose seat were still empty. Byunghun was already there, talking to someone over the phone. When he saw me sat down on my seat, he pointed his finger at Taehyung's seat at the back, and waved his hand, gesturing that he hasn't arrived yet.

I muttered a small 'okay' under my breath, and remained quiet. Taehyung usually came either a minute earlier or later than me. I tried not think or worried about him too much. For sure, he'd probably come to school in the first period in the afternoon to know the results for the Trigonometry tests.

But I was wrong. Throughout the day, it really felt incomplete without seeing Taehyung or hearing him talk. Byunghun kept saying I should calm my tits because the world won't end just because Kim Taehyung didn't go to class today. I really couldn't help it, he kept messing with my thoughts.

When the teacher finally revealed the results for our Trigonometry tests, and gave out the papers, Taehyung and I got the highest scores in class while Byunghun was behind us with four mistakes.

"I really thought I outsmarted you this time!" He said, disappointedly looking at his paper. "Did you two cheat?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

I laughed at him, "No! Taehyung and I did our best on our own!" Then I took out the pastel-colored sticky notes from my bag.

"You should have given me that audio book instead. . ." He mumbled, pouting.

"Why would I give to you? You aren't Kim Taehyung!" I teased, and he pinched me in the waist because of that. I almost yelled in pain during class, but I bit my tongue, stopping myself, and slowly it made the pain go away somehow. I secretly hit arm as a revenge after, when the teacher turned his back to the class.

Then, I ignored him again to write a short Congratulations! :D on the sticky note I took out earlier, and stuck it on the front page of his paper. I wanted to write more, but I didn't want to sound too desperate for his attention, so I just stopped. I folded our papers neatly, and placed it inside my bag. I'll just give it to him when he comes back.

When classes were over, I reunited with my four idiot friends. I told them that I'd be spending the two nights at Sungjae's place, and Yeri badly wanted to come.

"Don't think about it, Yeri. Sungjae's mom just wanted to see Areum only." Sooyoung said, not trying to sound disdain, but apparently it came out that way. Sooyoung and Sungjae's mom weren't really in good terms because Sungjae's mom doesn't really like Sooyoung for his son. Typical as shit. Since Sungjae and I were childhood friends, she expected us to be more than just friends. But obviously, we hated each other very much and it didn't work out that way.

"Okay. . ." Yeri pouted in disappointment. "Guess we'll just see you on Monday! Bye!" She said, waving their hands goodbye at us. We bid them goodbyes as well, they walked towards a different direction from us.

On our way to Sungjae's home, we talked about his concerns—especially about Sooyoung and his mom. I didn't really know how to respond to him since it wasn't his concern only, but he was just too worried that those two might not get along forever and his mom might also be the cause of the end of their relationship.

As we proceeded walking, Sungjae kept talking, and I was barely listening to him. From behind, the sound of engine was heard, and the headlight shining behind our backs caught my attention. I instinctively pulled Sungjae away from the moving vehicle. Sungjae's puzzled look made him stop talking when he saw the pick-up truck, almost hitting us if it wasn't for the headlights that alerted me to move him to the safe side of the road. Blinded by the lights, I managed to glare at it. The car stopped just a few inches behind us. Through the clear glass of the vehicle, I peeked at the person driving. My lips parted when I saw his familiar features. Taehyung? He wasn't alone. I didn't manage to see who was with, but I was pretty sure it was him driving. He was wearing a black hoodie over his head, and quickly took off the hoodie over his head. A white bandage was placed in the bridge of his nose. Cuts were also visible in his upper right cheekbone, and the blood in his lower lip already dried up.

I only managed to look at him for a brief few seconds, then he started his engine once again and left, as if he didn't almost hit us. My gaze followed the vehicle until it disappeared from my sight. I didn't know if he saw me or he saw us, but I definitely saw him.

"What a bunch of jerks!" Sungjae yelled, throwing a fist in the air frustratingly.

I was still dumbfounded to what I saw. He doesn't even look like the ball of sunshine Taehyung I just knew and saw yesterday. Worries started polluting my thoughts as I tried to remember Taehyung's face a while ago, and comparing it to the Taehyung I saw everyday during classes.

Kim Taehyung. . .

Just mentioning that name, I knew there was already something more about you from the beginning, but I still may not know it now, but I will.