Losing Kim Taehyung

thirteen

Never will you love me
the ways that I love you
Never will I hear the words
I wish that could be true

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When the cab stopped in front of the gate of our townhouse-type abode, I saw my mom already waiting in the veranda. I asked my friends if they wanted to come over for a while, but they refused my offer when they peeked out of the window, and saw mom waiting for me. They didn't get off the vehicle, and left again when I finally got outside the cab.

I slowly entered the gates, and I could feel my mom's glare as soon as I reached the veranda. It was already Saturday, 1:17 AM when I got home, and I knew exactly why she was giving the cold shoulders. She wasn't really that kind of a strict parent, but she just didn't like it when I go home late without telling her where I went and when will I be back. At least, she should have an idea of where I am going to know that I'm always safe, she tells me always.

She shook her head in disappointment once I stepped on the floors of the veranda, then she got inside the house coldly. I knew she wanted to scold me, but she just ignored me. When she reached the living room, I only trailed off behind her. I wanted to apologize, but I decided not to, I'd just apologize when she already cools down.

The weekends passed, and she kept giving me the cold shoulders. She didn't make me breakfast in those days before she went to work, and we didn't even talk to each other. The house was completely silent for two days. My friends didn't even want to come over because like me, they also hated it when my mom's mad—it seems like she's mad at everyone and everything when she's just mad at me or something.

That Monday morning, I was surprised that she still drove me to school. Throughout the ride, it was painfully awkward. No matter how hard I pressed my earphones against my ears, and continued listening to the songs in my phone, I could still feel my mom's anger in the atmosphere. When she finally dropped me off in front of the school gates, she didn't say a word or even kissed me on the cheek. I no longer waited for her to leave first before I actually entered the school.

Once I reached the classroom, I saw Taehyung already sitting in his usual seat. He looked like he just got there. His hair was in a total mess, but still, he looked like an art. Not the kind of ugly and weird art, but instead he has that face where you just badly wanted to paint it, for you didn't want history to forget it. I tried to keep it cool, and sat down on my seat as I pretended I didn't see him. He didn't look up from his phone either, and it made feel at ease that he didn't notice me.

I really didn't know how to approach him, now that we're dating. . .

It still gave me chills whenever I kept thinking about it. It felt so surreal. Are we really dating or he already made up his mind? I'm still new to this sort of things, and I have no idea what to say or do to him. I just shrugged that thought away when our homeroom adviser came inside the classroom.

Fortunately, there weren't group activities today, if there were, I'd be damned. And the fact that Byunghun didn't attend the class today just made it worse. I have to be quiet throughout the day, since I didn't have anyone to talk to. When it already was time to go home, Taehyung immediately left the classroom along with the other students as soon as the last bell rang.

Is he mad at me? I asked myself, walking out of the school. I already reached the front steps of the gates when I felt someone harshly pulled my bagpack which made me stumble.