Losing Kim Taehyung

thirty-three

"Because of you, I'm becoming ruined
I wanna stop, I don't want you anymore"

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Morning came and I rolled around the bed as I escaped the ray of sunlight shining through the window. When it was too bright already, I gave up and slowly opened my aching eyes. My eyes felt heavy and I could barely opened them.

As soon as Jin took me home last night, I didn't do anything and just cried until I fell asleep. I was all alone, for mom wasn't home last night as she left a message, saying she has to go to China for a week to attend seminars with her colleagues and also Mr. Ahn.

I never felt this alone in my life. Sighing, I picked up my phone from the nightstand as I still laid down on the bed.

I wanted to text my friends, but the thought of telling them what happened last night made me feel the embarrassment crawled through my body. Maybe because it would hurt my pride too if they know. I tried so hard to convince them that Taehyung was different, and now look where it got me.

I looked for another person in my contact list when my eyes stopped and my fingers stopped scrolling for a certain name—Min Yoongi. I sat up from the bed and leaned my back at the headboard as I stared his name in my phone. Should I call him and finally ask him what he knows about Taehyung and Solji?

I furrowed my brows in hesitation as I was about to press his number when suddenly, a message from Jin came and notified me. I went to the messages, and read the one Jin sent me.

Jin
hey areum. are you doing okay now?
i dont know if you still want to know this
but i think you should tho.
taehyung was rushed in the hospital last night
after hoseok beat him up hard while we decided
to give some space for hoseok. then solji told me
she wants to talk to you.
Received: 10:43 AM

I didn't bother replying to Jin's message as I threw my phone next to me and stared at the white ceiling above me. I couldn't help, and still worry about Taehyung. Even if I'm in pain because of him, I still care for him and no matter what I do, Taehyung still has a huge place in my heart.

I could feel the tears filling up in my eyes by just reading or mentioning his name. What more if saw him? I might just burst into tears and forgive him already like what he did was nothing. I took a deep breath, composing myself when I felt my phone buzzed on the bed. I shifted my attention to it, and saw Solji's name popped in my screen. I narrowed my eyes at phone and immediately declined the phone call.

I got up from the bed, leaving my phone behind as I took my red sweatshirt on the chair. I put on the red sweatshirt over my white shirt and accidentally paired it with my red sweatpants. I sighed. I looked like a living used tampon.

I walked towards the door and already placed my hand on the knob when I heard my phone buzzed again on the bed. I didn't look back and swiftly turned the knob, pushing the door open then finally left my room.

Exiting the gates of the house, I could already feel the eyes of the people in the neighborhood at me whenever I walked pass them. Do I look that hideous? I asked myself as I tried to brush my hair with my fingers and wiped my face using my palms.

I proceeded walking and ignored people's stares until I reached a small restaurant. I entered the restaurant and a middle-aged lady assisted me to a table. There were only a few people inside, so I got the chance to pick a table by the window. I ordered a set of samgyeopsal and waited for it patiently to arrive.