Losing Kim Taehyung

twenty-five

"Your heart is only going further away,
I can't grab you"

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That Monday morning, I stayed in bed. I didn't feel like going to school. I felt listless. I pulled my thick, soft furry blanket over my head (probably the only thing that made me feel at ease as of now), and crouched like a ball. I pretended to be asleep and rolled around, facing my back at the door as I heard my mom opened it.

She asked me if I'd go to school today, and simply I answered no. I could feel the worries in her every word, but I ignored it. She even said she cooked bulgogi for my dinner tonight if she ever comes back late, then prepared the medicine on the dining table downstairs. She closed the door after, and waited for thirty minutes before I got up from my bed and went down.

As soon as I got down, I was the only person at home, and I was hungry. Looking through the cabinets in the kitchen, I suddenly craved for an instant ramen. Without second thoughts, I run upstairs and grabbed my old lavender sweatshirt with a huge pink heart at the front and put it on. I noticed the spaghetti sauce stain at the bottom of my sweatshirt, indicating how I used it several times last week. I just shrugged, and didn't bother changing it or the pink pajamas I was wearing and headed out to go the convenience store.

I tied my hair in a messy bun as soon as I entered the store. I walked pass by the cashier, and saw him in my peripheral vision, staring at me as if I was nomad. I rolled my eyes, annoyed by him and quickly grabbed what I needed to grab. Ramen. 'Cause ramen is life. Food is life.

I made a thump as I put down the cup of ramen in front of the cashier. Still, he eyed me strangely. I quickly paid him then turned around and went to pour a hot water on my cup of ramen. I sat by the long table at the end, and waited three minutes for my ramen to be cooked. I fished my phone out of my pocket and checked if there were any messages from him or from anybody else, but there were none. I stared the my phone wallpaper to see how happy Taehyung and I were. I bit my lip as I remembered that day. Back in his condo when I made him a chicken porridge to help him sober up; when he lend me his white polo; and when I felt that I was really his girlfriend.

I gulped this lumped on my throat as I placed my phone on the table. I stared through the glass window right in front of me as I watched people walked by the store. When three minutes were up, I peeled off the lid of my ramen and an aromatic invisible smoke escaped, filling me up already. I picked up my chopsticks and separated it half perfectly, ready to dig in my ramen when suddenly, a knock against the glass window made me stop. I looked up, and saw a guy smiled at me quickly before he walked away. It was too quick to register his face in my mind. My eyes followed him, but ignored it when I no longer see him. I blew the noodles first before taking a mouthful of noodles into my mouth when I felt a strong pat at the back of my torso which startled me that my mouth released the noodles inside back to its cup.

I narrowed my eyes at the boy who comfortably sat next to me and gave off a smug smile. I scanned him with my eyes; he was wearing a denim snapback that swiped up his hair, revealing his forehead and a three-quarter-sleeve shirt that made him look like a frat boy. I tried hard remembering him, but then gave up and proceeded eating my now-saliva-covered ramen noodles.

"Don't tell me you don't remember me?" He asked, staring at me.

I squinted my eyes, examining his features. Pale skin. Small eyes. Pink lips. .  . Oh, wait! "You're that creepy guy who always wait outside our school gates, right?" I blurted out as soon as realization hit me, pointing my non-chopsticks finger at him.