Surely Blue

~19~

I stare at my reflection on the dark window. What was I doing with my life? Why am I even here?
I have so many questions that will remain without an answer. I see no purpose anymore, nor did I ever. Unless you count that short period of time Brayden was in life. He made everything seem worthy. Even me.
"Jacklynn, I need to talk to you," stated Cara approaching my door.
I look up at her with only my eyes. "What." I answer her.
"I called that 'special person' and they said that they'd be happy to reschedule for tomorrow, so I expect you to be there." Cara said in her best parenting voice.
"Who even is this person?" I ask.
"Someone that would like to meet you."
"And what if I'm not there?" I raise.
"There will no be 'what if I'm not there' this time" Cara said with her voice growing somewhat deeper.
I stay quiet and take my focus off of her as she leaves. Who is this?
I get up and reach for my water that I left on top of the bookshelf when a dusty book falls on the floor.
I open it and see pictures of a little girl and a toddler who happens to be a boy. Underneath the picture were both my name and Andrews name. I flip through the book that had just picture of me and my brother. I looked like I was barely a newborn and my brother looked like he was just starting to walk.
I scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion as I flip to the very last page of the book, where it said:
Andrew and Jacklynn Carter,
We love you both very much.
~ Mom and Dad
How is this even possible? My mom died at childbirth, yet she signed this book and there were pictures of her in the background. Happy and healthy.
I dust off the pages and examine every single word I could find in the book, however there was nothing. Nothing to piece everything together. Why did Cara even have this? This book wasn't with me. I've never seen it in my entire life.
I needed Andrew. For once, only because I needed answers. Mom is probably still alive.
I carry the book downstairs, holding it tight as I find Cara reading.
"What this?" I ask gripping the book. Cara quickly stands out of her chair in alarm at the sight of the book.
"Where did you find that?" She asks startled.
"Why do you have it?"
"Jacklynn, give me that book," she said as her voice got deep again.
"No what is this and why do you have?" I ask through my gritted teeth.
Cara walks closer to me.
"Give me the book."
I clutch the book even tighter against my chest as I back away. In a swift motion I turn around and run up to my room. Cara chases after me before I slam my door shut and lock it.
I had to get out of here with the book. I pull up my window and pop the screen off of its hinges and climb on to the window sill just as Cara unlocked my door and came raging in. I climb down so that I'm hanging from the bottom portion of my window sill and step on top of the awning that provided shade in the backyard.
I hear Cara grunt in frustration and run down to meet me in the backyard. My time was now very limited. I run and jump off the awning and quickly unlock the door as Cara arrives in the backyard. I slam shut the wooden door and run as fast as I can to wherever my legs would take me.
I apparently run to the park. I slip under the slide and tuck me legs into my chest. Minutes later I hear sirens go past the park. They were looking for me.
I sit and wait. And wait. And wait. The cops would find me and take me back to Cara's house where God knows what would happen to me.