Surely Blue

~29~

     I open the front door of Blaise's house. I quickly go up the stairs and barge into her room. She jumped in response.
     "Would it kill you to-" she started to say. She was laying on her bed ok her stomach.
     I set both crumpled up sign in papers in front of her. I didn't say a word. I felt my jaw tense momentarily.
     Blaise opens the papers and looks over them. She then got to the paper that I had to sign.
     "What's this?" She asks with her eyes looking up at me.
     "A result of you." I say with my jaw still clenched.
     Blaise lets out a chuckle. "Ok, Jack." She put the papers down in front of her.
     I stared at her, letting her know that I'm not joking around.
     "What did I do?" Blaise then asks, amused by the fact.
     "Who cares if Brayden came with us. If he didn't over hear you talking about him, then he wouldn't-"
     "Wouldn't what? Be mad at you? Jack, even I know that you don't care what others think. Remember? Remember what happened when you cared about what people think? You get hurt. And I know for a fact that you can't stand it, so you put up this shield, this shield to protect your feelings." She said, now sitting up.
     "Unless," she started in a softer voice. "Unless you trust this kid. Or maybe even have feelings for him?" She then posed.
     "I don't." I answer a little to quickly. "I don't and...I do. I trust him and, and it wasn't right for you to say the things that you said. He lost his brother. Lost as in dead, gone. He's hurting and what you put in his mind put him over edge." I say carefully.
     Blaise sat there, staring at the crumpled papers. I stared at her staring at the crumpled papers.
     "I need to find Andrew." I then say quietly after a long silence. "I'm done. I'm done getting side tracked. I'm done having these answer less questions, I need to find Andrew to get all of this shit sorted out." I said deeply with my teeth gritted together.
     I can't stand living with a question mark above my head anymore. I honestly thought I'd be ok in the orphanage for the rest of my life. I thought that I would be signed out by 18, get a job, get my own apartment, and live a life of my own.
     I don't want to be dragged down by what has already happened anymore. It's just an extra weight that I have to carry around with me. When am I going to be able to life that weight off of me? Answer: I have to find that strength.