Don't Go

Chapter Eleven

He poked my cheek, and forced me to look at him.  He looked up at me, and replied in a whisper.  “You’re never going to lose me.”

I took a deep breath, and looked away from him.  “You don’t know that.  You could go on tour, and forget about me completely.  It’s just a matter of time, Brian.”

I felt him sit up next to me.  “Look at me.” He demanded, but I refused.  I was already choking back tears, because I’ve been wanting to say this for a while now.  “J, look at me.”  I gave in with a huff, and looked at him.  He scooted closer to me, cupping my face in his hands, forcing my eyes onto his.  “What?” I said softly. 

He searched my eyes before replying simply, “You’re never going to lose me.  I’ll always be here.”

                “Promise?” I asked.  I know he can’t promise that, and it was selfish of me to ask.  Now I kind of regret asking.

But he gave me a small smile, and nodded.  “I promise.  I love you more than anything.  I couldn’t just leave you.  Or forget about you…” he dropped his hands and sat up beside me.  “You think I would forget about you?” I don’t know if this is just sinking in…

                “Well, you’re on tour for months at a time, who knows what could happen?”

He shook his head, “I couldn’t forget you.  Even if I tried,” He slumped a little.  “Not that I would try, of course.  I don’t want to forget you.  I like know you’re here.  You’re my little piece of home.  I actually look forward coming home, just because of you.  You know I would be lost without you.”  He nudged my arm.  “Don’t think like that.”

I honestly, didn’t know what to say.  I rummaged through everything going on in my head, and found something to say, hoping it was the right thing.  “I try not to.  But it’s always something I think about.”

He scooted closer to me, placing his hands over mine, caressing them into his.  “Please don’t.  I’m not going anywhere.  And you better not either.” He poked my nose, slightly laughing.

                “You know I’ll always be here.” I replied with a giggle.

                “Better not.  And soon, when you turn eighteen, I can take you on tour with me.” He nudged my shoulder playfully with his.

                “Are you sure you’ll be touring in a year?  Sure you won’t break a hip, or throw out your back?” I batted my eyes, and smirked.

                “Dick move, baker.”

I looked at him with a curious face.  “Baker…?”

He shrugged, “You look like a baker.  Like the ones that bake cakes…and bread.”

                “You must have gotten me confused with my mother.” I laughed.

                “I don’t know.” He shrugged.  “I’m just tired.”

I stood from the couch, and held out my hand to him.  He greatly accepted, and followed me upstairs.

                We got into my room, and I closed the door behind me.  By the time I was turned around, heading towards the bed, Brian was snuggled under the cover.  Greatly, he wasn’t on my side.  I got into the other side of the bed, and turned the lamp off on my beside table.  I lay facing Brian, and I knew he was facing me because I could feel his breath faintly on my lips.  “So, remember we were talking about the girl?”

My eyes were almost closed, but they flew open.  “Um, yeah.  Why?”

It was quiet for a few minutes.  “I think I’ll tell her tomorrow.  At Johnny’s party.”

                “Oh, she’s going to be there?”  Now I really don’t want to go.  But I will, just for Johnny.

                “Yeah, she better.  She promised she would.”

I was trying to think of something to say, without sounding jealous.  “Well, I’m sure she’ll be there.”

I felt his hands grab onto mine, and he pulled them close to his chest.  “You’re cold.” He whispered, moving closer to me.  I smiled, “Smooth move.”

He chuckled, “Why, thank you.” I could tell he was smiling without being able to see him.  “But really, your hands are freezing…and surprisingly soft…” he trailed off.

                “And that’s surprising why?” I questioned.

I felt him shrug a shoulder.  “I don’t know.  I’m surprised I haven’t noticed this before.”

I sighed, “It’s not like you’ve spent a great deal of time holding my hands.”  I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.  It sounded better in my head.

He gripped my hands tighter, and let out the breath he had been holding.  I moved in closer to his chest, and eventually fell asleep to the sound of his breathing pattern, letting me know he had already been asleep.

Waking up the next morning, I was stiff.  Brian had my hands tight in his, and I think I moved a little bit closer to him as the night went on.  I looked down at our intertwined fingers, and I liked the way my hand fit into his.  It’s weird, the relationship Brian and I have.  I can hold his hand, or sleep in the same bed, or even cuddle, and it doesn’t make a difference.  I feel safe, and protected with Brian.  I don’t feel like I have to impress him, or be someone else when he’s around.  I’m hoping he feels the same way.  And I’m hoping this new girl doesn’t get between us.

                Brian stirring next to me pulled me out of my thoughts.  I dropped his hands, and let him stretch out his body.  Once he was done, he just lay on his back, and looked up at the ceiling.  “I’m really sore.” He laughed.

I sat up, and looked over at him.  “Well, I don’t think you moved all night from the same position.”

                “The same one I fell asleep in?” he looked up at me, and I nodded.  “Then it was worth it.”

He put his hands behind his head to prop it up.  “I guess we should leave soon.” 

                “I’m not going.” I blurted.

He sat up quickly, turning in my direction.  “What?  What do you mean you’re not going?”

I rolled my eyes, getting up from the bed and walking in my bathroom.  He was soon standing in the doorway as I grabbed my toothbrush.  “It means, I’m not going.”

                “And why are you not going now?”

I brushed my teeth quickly, and pushed Brian out of my way to get back into my room.  “I have too much homework to do.”

                “You don’t’ have school for another week.  Try again.”

                “You don’t know how much homework I have.”

                “I know you don’t have that much homework to do.”

I could feel his glare burning holes in my eyes.  “I don’t want to go!” I yelled.

I watched his jaw clench.  He walked around me quickly, pulling on his boots, and grabbing his jacket.  Before he walked out my door, he stopped.  “Thanks for nothing.”

I don’t see the big deal about me going.  “You’re being really immature about this.  Why does it matter if I go or not?”  He just glared at me, and walked out the door.  I waited until I heard the front door slam, and I walked to my window.  I watched Brian get into his car, and drive off.  I already feel guilty…

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I am soooooo sorry! sdkjfhdskf.  I have been super busy, and loaded down with homework, and it's just been crazy!  Again, I'm sorry and my other stories will be updated before I update this one again.  :)