Don't Go

Chapter Nineteen;

There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by, that I don’t think about Brian.  I rummage through the possibilities of what I did to have him hate me so much.  I’ve learned to deal with not having him in my life.  It’s hard to live with the decision he made.  Brian had every right to be mad, and be upset with me.  But to swear me out of his life was something I thought I would ever have to deal with.  He’s been on tour for almost a month.  He didn’t tell me bye, and it was sad that I hoped he would.  It’s also sad I’m going to be spending my 18th birthday alone.

                It’s my birthday weekend, and Matt was the only one to make an effort.  I think he felt bad about what had happened.  I felt guilty, because I led him to believe that.  He sent a card in the mail, that everyone signed, including two tickets for their concert tomorrow night.  I debated about going, and I decided not to.  Chloe is pushing me to go, but I’m pretty sure I won’t make any attempts to make an appearance.  I would rather sit and sulk, than to see the person behind it— there was a knock on my bedroom door, loud enough to make me jump.

                I rolled off my bed, and dragged my feet to open my door.  Wouldn’t you know, Liam stood there, looking like he just stepped out of a magazine.  I don’t know where Liam and I stand at this point, so I didn’t know if I should shove him down the stairs, or smile.  I mentally slapped myself, and tried to smile.  “I’m surprised my mom let you in.”

He raised an eyebrow.

I waved my hand, “She knows I don’t want to see anyone.  And you of all people show up here.”

He sighed, “Well, that’s not what I was expecting to happen.”

                “What?  Did you think with Brian gone now, I would just go to you?”

His eyes flicked to mine, “You’re just a little ray of sunshine tonight.”

I fought the urge to slap him into next week.  “What are you doing here?”

                “I wasn’t hoping you would come to me.  I was just hoping we could be friends.”

I laughed, “You cannot just be friends with a girl.”

                “Brian was.”

Was.  That word echoed, and bounced around in my head.  My smile faded slowly, and tears stung at my eyes.  “You really are an asshole.”  I tried slamming the door, but his foot got in the way.  I backed up slowly, as he came further in my room.  “Jenna, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean it like that.  I was just—”

                “Just what?  Making a point?  And while doing so, rubbing it in?”

His face softened.  “None of that.   I’m sorry, okay?  I just used the wrong choice of words.”

I plopped down on the edge of the bed, and crossed my arms over my chest.  “Whatever.” I mumbled.

He walked closer, stopping an inch from me.  I looked up to see him looking down at me.  “What are you even doing here?” I asked again.

He jerked his thumb behind him, “Your mom called.”

I rolled my eyes.

He took up the spot next to me, “She just wants me to try and cheer you up, since Chloe won’t be back until tomorrow sometime.”

                “I’m fine.” I said.  “I don’t need a babysitter.”

He laughed.  “Yes, you do.  You’ve been locked in your room for almost a month.  You, my friend, need to have some fun.  Your birthday is on Sunday, and you’re not excited at all?”