Don't Go

Chapter Fifteen;

Brian left a bit earlier today, and I was getting ready for my date with Liam.  I’m not too sure what he has planned, and I admit I’m a bit nervous.  I was going to talk to him about just giving me time.  Which is me just being nice.  I want to be with Brian, but I’m not sure if it’s possible.  With the tour, and I know age shouldn’t matter, but it does to me.  And it really shouldn’t.  I’m still in post shock over just kissing him.  He told me he would give me time.  I don’t want him to wait for me to make up my mind.  I feel horrible and selfish just for asking.

                I turned off my inner babble, and focused on fixing my hair.  I just braided it to the side, and tucked my bangs behind it, and tucked behind my ear.  I checked myself in the mirror before grabbing my small clutch and heading out the door.  Liam was there in the driveway, leaning against his car.  “Hey,” I smiled.  He met me half way, resting a hand on my back.  He pulled me closer, crashing my chest against his.  I let him kiss me, and I kissed back with little effort.  I was busy thinking about Brian, and how soft his lips were.  Liam’s were soft and warm, gentle even.  He kissed me softly once more, and led me to the car.

                We arrived at the restaurant moments later, and he hurried to open my door.  He grabbed my hand after the door was shut, and we walked inside.  He had a reservation, so we were seated right away.  “I wonder what Matt thinks about this.” I laugh.

He was scanning over the menu.  He looked up at me, and back down.  “He approves.” He smiles.

That’s good to hear.  I know Matt likes me, and would want his brother to be happy.  I’m sure he also knows about Brian’s feelings towards me.  He was talking to Matt that day of the party, when he stormed off.  I was missing Brian a little.  I know he was supposed to be back over later tonight.

After dinner, we took a stroll through the park.  He put his coat around my shoulders, and he held my hand as we walked.  We came across a bench, and took a seat.  I think this is a good time to talk.  “I need to say something.” I start.

He turns his body slightly, and faces me.  “What is it?”

I place my hands on my knees, and take a deep breath.  “I’m not really ready for a relationship.”

I looked over at him and he nods.  “I’m not rushing anything.”  He gives me a half smile.  I know he just got out of a really long relationship just a few weeks ago.

I smile, “Good.  I’m not saying I just want to be friends, but I don’t want more right now.”

                “It’s completely understandable.  With everything that happened with Anna and school right now, it’s hard.”

I nod, and smile a little. “Maybe we can start out slow, and work from there.”

I scoot closer, taking his hands into mine.

He grins, and nods.  “I would like that.”  He wraps and arm around my shoulders, and I rested my head on his shoulder.  His kissed the top of my head, and rested his cheek on the top of my head.  “I have a good time tonight.” I said.

He rubs my arm, and took a deep breath.  “I did too.  I haven’t had a good day in awhile.”

I place a hand on the top of his leg, “Same here.  It’s been a bit rough lately.”

We sat there, enjoying the silence before he had to take me home.

When I arrived home, we sat in the driveway for a moment.  “So I’ll see you soon?” I ask.

He gives me a smile.  “Of course.”

I lean over, and kiss his cheek.  I got out of the car, and waved as he left.  I walked up the pathway to my house, and stepped on to the porch.  Brian was sitting there on the ledge in front of the door, waiting for my re-appearance.  “Hey Bri,” I smile and unlock the door.  I let him in, and follow behind him, closing the door.  “You know you could have knocked. My parents are home.”

He looks around for a moment, and faces me.  “I didn’t want to bother them.  So I waited for you.”

I nudge my head in the direction of the stairs, and he follows behind me as we make our way up.

                We got into my room, and I walked to my dresser to find my night clothes.  He closes the door, and takes off his shoes and Jacket.  I watched him crash on my bed before I went to the bathroom to change.  I changed my clothes, and let my hair loose.  I’m surprised he didn’t ask me where I had been.  And why I was dressed up, and I know for a fact he knew whose car that was.  I brush my teeth quickly, and walk back out.  I turn the lamp off on my bedside table, and climbed into bed.  I stayed on top of the blanket.  “Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve.” Brian stated.

I turn over on my side, and face him.  The only thing illumining my room was the moon light.  I could only see the outline of his jaw, and the sparkle in his eyes.  His hands roamed to find mine, and soon did.  He pulled my hands to his chest, kissing the tops.  “I missed you.” He whispered.

I moved closer a few inches, wrapping a leg around his.  “I missed you, too.”

I listened to his breathing for a few seconds before I opened my mouth to speak.  “What happens when you go on tour?” I ask.

He took a deep breath through his nose, and exhaled loudly through his mouth.  “I don’t know.”

                “I won’t wait for you.”  Once I said that, I wanted to take it back.  “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean it like that—”

                “No, it’s fine.  I wouldn’t ask you to.” I knew I had hurt him.

I sigh, “It’s not fair to you.  I asked you to wait for me pretty much, so you have the right to ask.”

He shook his head, “I wouldn’t ask you to do that.”  He dropped my hands, and caressed my face.  “I would wait forever for you.”

                “I don’t want you to.”

                “But I want to.”

It was back to silence.  I don’t want Brian to wait for me.  Even if he says he will, I don’t think it’s possible.  “Tell me something,” I whisper. 

I waited a few seconds for him to stop me, but he didn’t and I continued.  “Tell me you’re not going to wait—”

                “Jen, stop it!” He sighed loudly, and lowered his voice.  “I want to be with you, and I don’t care if I have to wait.”

                “But what if you meet someone else?”

He rubs my arm like Liam previously did.  It sent chills through my body.  “She would have to be able to compare to you.” He poked my nose.

I giggled.  I moved in closer, and kissed his cheek.  I placed my head on his shoulder, and looked up at him.  “You know I don’t know what I would do without you?”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, and runs a finger over my jaw line.  “Friends or more.”  He kisses my forehead, and sings me to sleep.

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Don't hate me yet! haha.

I still have a lot to this story to add before I end it, so no worries.  I'm hoping to at least get thirty chapters.  A lot can happen between now and then.  So stay with me and don't hunt me down and kill me! :D

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