Don't Go

Chapter Twenty-Four;

It was going on midnight, and I was awaiting Brian’s appearance.  I paced my bedroom floor, just thinking about the possibilities of that ring.  I never got it back from downstairs.  When Liam and I went back downstairs, Brian wasn’t there.  The little velvet box didn’t sit on the counter anymore, so I hoped he grabbed it.  I didn’t want it.  If Brian and I were still friends, maybe it would be different.  But at this point, I want nothing he has to offer.

                My thoughts were cut short by the sound of my bedroom window raising.  I jumped back a little, and watched Brian’s long leg step through, followed by the rest of his body.  He closed the window, and stood up straight to fix his clothes.  “Wow, can’t say I don’t miss that.” He glanced at the window, and walked towards me.  “You know you could have used the front door.  My parents aren’t home.”

He shrugged, and walked closer.  “I like climbing through your window.” He smirked.  It’s like nothing has changed between us.  I didn’t know how long this was going to last.

                I walked over to the window to close the curtains, and returned standing in front of him.  He put his hand in the pocket of his jacket, and pulled out the velvet box.  “This,” He showed it to me, and set it down on my desk.  “Is yours.”

I swallowed hard.  “I told you, I don’t want—”

                “I don’t care.  I want you to have it.”

There was no point in fighting.  “Do you want to explain what it was for?”

He shrugged.  “I’m not sure if I should tell you.  I was doing a lot of thinking about how I should, but then I thought, maybe I just shouldn’t.  Because it seems stupid, and kind of mean.”

                “Why would it be mean?”

                “What I wanted to do, it was kind of a big thing.  Something I didn’t think you would ever go for.”

I sat down on the edge of the bed.  “If it has to do with you, then of course I would have.  But it doesn’t matter now.  I don’t think I would do anything for you ever again.”

Pain struck his face.  “You really want to know what I was going to promise you?”

I hesitated before I nodded.  Did I really want to know?  I knew whatever it was; it was going to hurt to hear.  But I’m always going to wonder what it had been.  That ring will sit there, and taunt me.

                He took up the spot next to me, and rubbed his palm down his legs.  He did that when his palms were sweaty.  And his palm would sweat when he got nervous.  My stomach fluttered, because I still make Brian nervous.  He looked down at his shoes, “I’ve always thought about it, but was never sure if I would actually do it…” he trailed off, taking a breath.  “I was going to give you that ring, because I wanted to promise you I would always be there.  That I would one day marry you.”

I felt like I’ve been punched in the chest.  I put my face in my hands before he saw me cry.  I sobbed quietly in my hands for a few moments, until I felt his hand on my back.

                I lifted my head, and wiped my hands on my shirt.  I can’t believe he just said that.  I felt dizzy, and almost like I would pass out at any moment.  Brian’s hand stayed firm on my back.  I never thought about Brian wanting to marry me, of all people.  It shouldn’t matter now, anyways.  He doesn’t want to anymore, and I should be okay with that.  But him actually saying he doesn’t want to makes it hard to be okay with.  I mean, I never thought Brian and I would ever get married, and its way too early to start thinking about getting married.